# Feel like I’m being too hard on my eldest son
**URL:** https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172
**Category:** Lounge
**Created:** [January 2, 2026, 5:22pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172 "2026-01-02T17:22:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 15
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Qwerty](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Qwerty)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 5:22pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/1 "2026-01-02T17:22:32Z")
Mums guilt today.
I feel like I’ve done alot of telling off today and even yelled at one point very loud.
I wonder if I’m too hard on him sometimes. He had a lot to put up with when his dad lived here and I don’t want him growing up unhappy. I love him so much.
Anyway just a rant.
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### Author:  [@Qwerty](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Qwerty)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 5:23pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/2 "2026-01-02T17:23:23Z")
Thing is I’m very wary of getting angry cos my neighbour upstairs (she is lovely) works for the mental health team in the admin.
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### Author:  [@everhopeful](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/everhopeful)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 5:23pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/3 "2026-01-02T17:23:49Z")
You smoked recently and then stopped. It could be irritability due to cigarette withdrawal?
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### Author:  [@Qwerty](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Qwerty)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 5:24pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/4 "2026-01-02T17:24:16Z")
Wish it was. But I do tend to get irritable. Even before I bought cigarettes.
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### Author:  [@Lilyofthevalley](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Lilyofthevalley)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 7:46pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/5 "2026-01-02T19:46:43Z")
When I got upset with my kids, I’d take a deep breath, leave the room, go somewhere private, calm down, then when calm go back and discuss the issues. I’ll admit there were times that I couldn’t bring up issues until the next day (teen years). But it helped me not break their spirit yet still correct behaviors and attitudes
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### Author:  [@Wave](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Wave)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 10:59pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/6 "2026-01-02T22:59:22Z")
I hear you @Qwerty
I’ve been unusually irritable and angry lately but especially today.
My stupid ass of a brother was the main cause of my irritability
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### Author:  [@Lilyofthevalley](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Lilyofthevalley)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 11:45pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/7 "2026-01-02T23:45:36Z")
I mean, it’s good for our kids to know we’re not perfect. We’re human and we make mistakes.
Just love them and do everything out of love and that will weigh much heavier on their minds than those times you lost your cool within reason. I mean if you beat them, that’s what they’ll remember unfortunately. But if you just yell sometimes or get short with them sometimes, they’ll forgive you for that. What matters most is loving them to the best of your ability. They will see that and even if they rebel, eventually they’ll come back and start reciprocating that love.
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### Author:  [@Ducky](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Ducky)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2026, 11:57pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/8 "2026-01-02T23:57:26Z")
Kids like routine and structure
Organised play is good , drawing, learning to read and do maths and puzzles. Even chores from a young age like dusting under the table and chairs.
Do some wild time with them like dancing to music
But most good thing i think is structure and routine. Ie bedtime story
Edit im sorry you werent asking for advice you just letting vent. I was just trying to be helpful. Ive not had any kids @Qwerty but im sure your very wise and a good mum to your 2 boys
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### Author:  [@Devra](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Devra)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2026, 12:13am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/9 "2026-01-03T00:13:49Z")
I don’t know. Depends on the reason. I saw a woman badgering a young teenaged boy, and thought she was ridiculous. She was driving him crazy. I tried not to be like my mother, who could be too oppressive.
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### Author:  [@FreeLunch](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/FreeLunch)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2026, 12:39am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/10 "2026-01-03T00:39:11Z")
I think @Qwerty is being too hard on herself..
We all can lose it and being a mother is really challenging. My mother used to yell at me all the time (can you believe it???) and I only love her. I just know she was overworked and stressed.
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### Author:  [@sweetpotatopie](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/sweetpotatopie)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2026, 1:06am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/11 "2026-01-03T01:06:37Z")
I do that sometimes. I do very much reassure them that I’m not yelling at them but at the situation. When they know that it’s not them that is the problem, they don’t feel hurt.
Sometimes when I realize I’m yelling, I’ll yell something completely ridiculous that has nothing to do with the situation. Then they will laugh and say something silly in return. Then I will laugh too. It turns the mood in a good way. But this is easier to do the older they get.
When they were littles I’d pretty much lock myself in the bathroom and cry. That always helped.
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### Author:  [@Qwerty](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Qwerty)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2026, 5:12am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/12 "2026-01-03T05:12:08Z")
Thanks guys. Today is a new day so here’s to that.
It’s usually when they are bouncing around and playing rough or fighting and scared one of them will get hurt.
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### Author:  [@Lilyofthevalley](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Lilyofthevalley)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2026, 5:48pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/13 "2026-01-03T17:48:16Z")
> [@Qwerty](#):
>
> and scared one of them will get hurt.
Exactly! It’s out of love. They will know and remember that
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### Author:  [@Loke](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Loke)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2026, 4:24pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/14 "2026-01-04T16:24:06Z")
I think everybody yells at their kids at one point
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### Author:  [@SzSupportAdmin](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/SzSupportAdmin)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2026, 6:11am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/feel-like-i-m-being-too-hard-on-my-eldest-son/1172/15 "2026-01-14T06:11:22Z")