# I am really upset
**URL:** https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300
**Category:** Diagnosed Sz or Sza
**Created:** [May 12, 2026, 9:48am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300 "2026-05-12T09:48:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:48am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/1 "2026-05-12T09:48:38Z")
Yesterday I was able to read for like 2 hours in total.
It was really cool.
I like physics I was reading on AI chatgpt.
But today I cannot focus. Idk why but I have noticed with this condition it seems to be impossible to maintain any hobby.
It really makes me upset.
That is why i need a job asap.
At least i wont go insane then from doing nothing.
Does anyone relate?
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:49am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/2 "2026-05-12T09:49:40Z")
I got a job call today but they have not responded to my email.
I told them the last time i worked was 2023.
I dont think he liked that. Idk
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### Author:  [@Joker](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Joker)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:49am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/3 "2026-05-12T09:49:53Z")
Advice I was given was take the break if you need to as it’s not productive if you can’t focus
It was a course mentor told me a while back as I was getting stressed about similar thing
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:51am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/4 "2026-05-12T09:51:56Z")
Thanks @Joker it has been like this since 2016.
I cant seem to upkeep a hobby unless it is something i do with other ppl.
But my social anxiety is strong
Maybe i need to reconsider my hobbies.
But even then i get a feeling that i cannot maintain them.
Its like being stuck in an invisible prison.
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:52am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/5 "2026-05-12T09:52:30Z")
2016 is when i was medicated
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### Author:  [@Ish](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Ish)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:52am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/6 "2026-05-12T09:52:42Z")
Yeah I struggle with hobbies, I jump too often from one to the next, I’m learning to be ok with it, I mean im always learning new things. @Zoe how is the watercolour painting going?
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### Author:  [@Joker](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Joker)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:54am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/7 "2026-05-12T09:54:04Z")
It took me a very long time to get back into hobbies
Hope you can achieve this too
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### Author:  [@Raptor\_Z](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Raptor_Z)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:54am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/8 "2026-05-12T09:54:50Z")
Maintain low effort challenge.
I cannot focus on anything i just do something then when i cant do moremi dont do. And do something else . I dont care about achievements . Unless.its job
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:54am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/9 "2026-05-12T09:54:58Z")
Sorry to hear that Ish.
Yea that is what i was thinking, try something different.
Watercolour painting is something i can do.
But i cannot afford it atm.
So now there is nothing to do.
I feel a lot of anhedonia too. Making it more difficult to start things.
Thats why i was delighted yesterday when i could read.
But now it is almost like my brain repels me from reading.
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:55am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/10 "2026-05-12T09:55:36Z")
Its good that you can enjoy your hobbies ":))
Maybe i just need to find different hobbies
Easier ones more fun ones
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 9:56am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/11 "2026-05-12T09:56:45Z")
Thanku
Yea i am looking for a job.
Its hard with my huge employment gaps
But i do like cleaning so that could be like my hobby once i get accepted somewhere.
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### Author:  [@Raptor\_Z](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Raptor_Z)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 10:06am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/12 "2026-05-12T10:06:03Z")
What was your motivation yesterday to read?
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 10:08am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/13 "2026-05-12T10:08:08Z")
i read yesterday on twitter that it was a famous phycisist birthday, richard feynman; that inspired me, but now I feel like bleh again :,(
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### Author:  [@Raptor\_Z](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Raptor_Z)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 10:12am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/14 "2026-05-12T10:12:53Z")
Maybe search for different topic in physics
Watch big bang theory tv show its funny maybe you get inspired again
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### Author:  [@Raptor\_Z](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Raptor_Z)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 10:23am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/15 "2026-05-12T10:23:47Z")
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHAqhP8EeYQ)
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### Author:  [@greenlife231](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/greenlife231)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 10:35am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/16 "2026-05-12T10:35:44Z")
I’m not sure if you would like me puting my comments here. All I want to say is those positive symptoms you had in recent years could have negative impacts on your congnitive abilities. I know you hate Antipsychotics. I hated them either in my early years of taking meds. I stopped taking them in 2011 and let myself suffered from those dreadful delusions and hallusinations for 2-3 years. Then I was hospitalized again in 2013 and was put on heavier meds. Since that time my cognitive ability can not recover to the level of before 2011. Before 2011 I did my PHD study. After 2013 I could barely do reading and writing. only about 0ne hour everyday. I reap what I sow.
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### Author:  [@Raptor\_Z](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Raptor_Z)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 10:44am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/17 "2026-05-12T10:44:48Z")
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STy4oSMR1fo)
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### Author:  [@anon63960434](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/anon63960434)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 10:46am UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/18 "2026-05-12T10:46:50Z")
I can understand how you feel. I lost interest in reading. Maybe if you read something, take notes. Start for maybe 5 minutes a day and gradually get into it. I haven’t worked for years but I imagine it’s about filling in the gaps and explaining why you were absent. I think I will make up an excuse like I was busy with childcare… it’s true in a way but hides the fact that I have been suffering from schizophrenia.
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### Author:  [@Devra](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Devra)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 5:44pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/19 "2026-05-12T17:44:35Z")
I got a job at McDonald’s, even though I didn’t work since 1997. But I had to quit. It was extremely physically difficult for me, to stand around for just 4 hours, and they wanted me to work more than 5 hours. I began limping, taking things to people waiting at curbside. It’s a very difficult job.
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### Author:  [@Devra](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/u/Devra)
#### Post date: [May 12, 2026, 5:47pm UTC](https://schizophreniasupport.discourse.group/t/i-am-really-upset/5300/20 "2026-05-12T17:47:18Z")
You could maybe go to school for artist for advertising, or things like that.
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