I have 3 aunts and 2 are in the UK.
Since my grandmother passed away last month, my 2 aunts in the UK have decided to cut contact with my mum but they still speak to each other and me.
For a bit I didn’t say anything but then brought it up. I said this is a waste of time either they don’t want to talk or are waiting for the other to make the first move and be the bigger person. I said if they keep going, they may never reconcile. And it’s up to them if they don’t want to talk but my grandmother would not have wanted this to happen.
One of them responded by saying she’s trying to protect her health by not speaking to mum. Because my mum stresses her out. I know what happened. She stayed with us when grandmother was ill. The reason she won’t talk to her is because when my grandmother was alive, she called my mum whilst she was driving saying that grandmother is about to die and to come urgently. Mum got anxious while she was driving and told her not to contact her like that and say things like that when she’s out. So that’s why she won’t talk to her. Because she felt she would take it out on her, not anyone else. She also said she came to help not hurt anyone. But we know there’s two sides to that. She wanted to get away from her husband, and it was an opportunity.
The other ignored my message and didn’t respond to it.
My mum can make the first move as well, but she’s also upset like the rest of them. So everyone is upset and no one wants to communicate.
So, I have decided to cut them off as well because at the end of the day, while they are all hurt, this is my mum so I’m going to stick by her. My mum is my priority. I also don’t need the mental stress.
I used to see them almost every day, so I am not only grieving my grandmother but them too. So it’s a huge transition for me.