Just ate, instead of energy I’m falling asleep lol. That’s what I get for choosing carbs haha
Oh. I definitely relate haha.
I always catastrophize and have existential crisis’ at night 
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Starting to hurt from surgery…Tylenol not really working and can’t take oxycodone for two more hours
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I feel alone 
think it was because I was thinking of that girl from before. And also because the only friend that I contacted ignored me. The latter is the most likely trigger.
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I am developing a juicy spot in between my eyebrows
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Feels like winter.
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Smoking isn’t enjoyable at the moment. Idk why. Usually the calmness and slight dopamine hit is enjoyable. Just listening to music at the moment. Tempted to turn heating on, but ouch. The costs lol 
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My gpa birthday was this month. Rip paw
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Turned on th heating but my internal temp is taking time to climb. Gone back to writing the preprint slowly, very slowly.
I can’t stop crying. Everything is so overwhelming rn. I have some stuff going on with work (I have reason to believe I’ll be fired here in a few days when the term is over) and with school (financial aid problems). I just feel so done.
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Can you contact the school and explain your employment circumstances and if the finances are re-arrangeable ?
I think I can figure that part out. Basically, I started having severe MI issues last term and dropped below half-time. Now they want to cut my aid off completely unless I can prove extenuating circumstances with evidence. I have two doctors (pdoc plus surgeon) that I can get notes from, so I think that will be okay, but damn if it’s not incredibly stressful.
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Yeah i can understand that, do something to de-stress. Focus on the fact that you have the docotors notes and evidence part in favourable terms to you. As for the employment, I’m not sure what to suggest or expect - that’s definitely rough, sorry.
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It still hurts when I think back to my unmedicated psychotic years, and how I considered certain people to be my friends. In retrospect they were not my friends at all.
They were classmates who put up with my manic, psychotic ass. None of the people who knew me back then, the ones I thought were my friends, will even accept my fb friend requests.
It really hurts when I think back on the fall of my one year of med school. I had a major crush on this one classmate, hung around her and some other kinda stuck up classmates at lunchtime. That was when I really began to spin out of control, in terms of psychosis and bipolar cycling.
I was obnoxious af, but I was suffering. I understand why they abandoned me, but they didn’t have to be shitty with me. Man, I was crazy af before APs and mood stabilizers. For YEARS I was crazy af, adolescence and early adulthood ruined by doctors failing to see the obvious signs.
I suppose I could make a thread for this, but whatever, just thinking a lot about these things right now, needed to vent.
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People give psychosis a hard time because they think it’s controllable, but for people with psychosis it requires medicine and very few want to accept this because it means recognising they have an advantage
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Been with my gf for 2 1/2 months, and I still haven’t told her my diagnoses. I’m not worried about telling her about GAD and PTSD. It’s the schizoaffective disorder that I’m worried about. That prefix might send her running, which makes me afraid to open up and get too attached to her.
I really think I should tell her soon. I really dig this woman, don’t want to lose her, but I can’t keep this secret forever.
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Well I’ve got another ecoli urinary infection like seriously again
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Yes, you should tell her soon. She sounds like she would be understanding, and if she’s not, then you deserve better.
Hey everyone, how’s it going?
I’m really tired today, dunno why..
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It’s basically 2AM but I’m randomly really hungry. This is what they meant about mirtazapine hunger
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@Turtle so very sorry to hear that…I hope you are seeing the doctor.
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