Hey everyone, just woke up a bit ago. Failed to stay up all day after like an hour I got tired lol
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Hey man, how are you feeling today?
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Hey Iām good. Not sure what my plans are today. You doing good?
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Not enjoying cigarettes but my sleep has returned. Kinda forcing myself to smoke out of habit. Could have easily fell asleep for the night
blah now im in a bad mood, gonna take my meds
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It seems to me that youāre on the higher end of functioning. I could never manage those jobs
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Kinda wish I never got angry with that person but itās for the best. She wasnāt good to me behind my back at all. I gotta develop more self respect.
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Iām good, chillin. I might walk to the gas station (maybe a two-minute walk) for some ice cream. Maybe a Snickers ice cream bar and a pint of ice cream, idk. Iāll see what they have.
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When I get td and voices at the same time it gets pretty stressful. Just took .25mg clonzepam.
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Yeah the two jobs I applied for today would be quite challenging for me, but Iām willing to try.
Iāve always been forced to work, never given a choice regardless of how sick Iāve been in the past, no one to support me. Thatās all the more true with both of my parents and all of my grandparents deceased. I live without a safety net, and it scares the hell out of me. If I ā ā ā ā up I could possibly end up homeless. I canāt ā ā ā ā up. My life depends on it. Okay, sorry, went off on a rant lol.
But yeah I know Iām high-functioning partly due to medication pretty much blocking all positives, but I think also partly due to aging. I know for some, psychosis worsens with age, but for some of us it improves. Iāve come a long way from where I was over thirty years ago when my chronic psychosis began. Believe me, man, Iāve been in baaaad condition quite a few times in the past. Things could improve for you in the future; youāre young yet.
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If you ever come to Canada make sure the first thing you do is go to a restaurant and order a poutine
Then thank me after lol
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Try looking up sz support groups on chatGPT and I bet youāll find something. The one I attended online Sunday was originating from new Mexico, so not near me at all. NAMI had lists of in person groups too. Good luck. It might help. My psychologist told me at our appt tonight that she had been trying for years to get me to go to a group. I donāt even remember. Not at all. I thought she brought it up this month. I forget things a lot. Sometimes lose time etc.
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Ok. I have three degrees :AA, BA, JD. PRACTICED law for fifteen years then crashed and burned in my last few years due to the schizophrenia really beating me down. Iāve been inpatient at least twelve times since late 2021.
Iām 55 1/2 years old right now. In South Carolina you can get free tuition at any state college or university when you turn 60. Do yāall think itās stupid to go back to school at age 60ā¦i thought Iād take art, Painting and photography mostly. Stuff Iāve wanted to learn
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itās not stupid at all, you should do it because it can make you happy
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Idk why, but I made a some food and now Iām stuffed. I think mirtazapine effects are still affecting me. Now Iām too full to sleep.
The idea of training for something Iām not all that interested in is kind disheartening, in school I was always given the advice - do whatās enjoyable, not whatās easiest and reality has shown me, do whatās easiest not whatās enjoyable
Thank you @Mr.Apple
Also I always told my kids to try to follow their dreams or go wherever their innate talents took them. And for myself I always said go big or go home. But even though Iāve battled with my mental illness for forty years the fact is my appellate attorney position at US DOJ was definitely my dream job and when I couldnāt do it anymore I just lost my whole sense of self that Iām just now dealing better with.
My best advice is to follow your natural talents and personality. And, whether itās a hard thing or easy thing isnāt always obvious.
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I like this advice bc youāve factored in reality. Where life can be confusing about if something is easy or difficult, especially in the start of a journey. Iām only 30 so I donāt have much experience behind school years and mental health decade so it makes sense to be confused - itās pragmatic advice
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Tonightās traffic is quiet (the forum)
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Im watching the hockey game, anybody else?
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Are you perhaps canadian?