Why not do both
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special overload on d way 
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Maybe you’ve been brainwashed by TV and cinema and have an unrealistic view of life. We hope those things happen for you.
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i need meaning in order to be happy some ppl do not need meaning in order to be happy
You need goals / purpose to be happy in life .
There is a reason billionaires & millionaires stay working even though they could retire & don’t need the money.
There is a reason people die right when they retire.
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I feel like I am at the mercy of my God, a bit like a school teacher telling a pupil that they will never get anywhere in life and so a person might never fulfil their potential.
I don’t know if I can do it so maybe I am being saved that pain, there must be a reason for it.
It makes me feel that I’m not good enough but then maybe I’m not, it’s a bit sad.
I don’t know if there is any meaning… but im content with my life for the most part.
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