Been in a 30 year decline

My mental health is fine except for several occasional glitches which some of you may know. From 1990-95 I had a very active life. I was living in a board & care but I was employed the entire time I was there and attended college, I had a friend and was going to 5 or 6 AA, CA or NA meetings a week and on the weekends I hung out with my family and went to comedy clubs and barbecues and birthday parties and went camping or jet-skiing. I was also going to AA functions like dances and barbecues. I was very active, they were my most. productive years, I did a lot of different stuff.

Then in 1995 my sisters roommate moved out of my sisters duplex so my sister had a spare bedroom and said I could rent it from her. That was the start of my isolating. I was still working and doing a lot but instead of hanging out nights in the living room with my sister and nephew I chose to stay in my room and watch TV. I was still doing stuff with the same friend and doing stuff with my family but nevertheless I stayed in my room a lot.

I lived there three years and then moved into another house where this 55 year old guy rented out three rooms. He was pretty cool and I could have hung out in the living room every night and watched TV with him but I chose to stay in my room but we stayed on good terms. I lived there 4 1/2 years working most of the time though I took a year off and attended a day program. So I was isolating but I was going to the day program with 9 other people and still occasionally went to AA meetings and did stuff with my family.

So that’s why I would say it was a slow decline. It’s not like now where I spend 80% of my time alone. I still work and get out but now I isolate a lot but I feel it’s by choice, I just don’t want friends, they just end up putting me down and making my life miserable. I wouldn’t say I’m happy or even content but my existence is OK, my symptoms are way down and I enjoy being alone. I did enough stuff in my youth to make some good memories and I had friends and traveled and did vastly varied different things for fun.

Now I’m 65 and I’m just OK with my life winding down, uneventful and with little change. I may live another ten years and if I spend all of it alone so beit. I had my glory days and I’ll keep working as long as I can and then retire. That is my story and I’m sticking to it. There were other parts to my life. I lived in a house for 6 years with 7 other roommates and after that I lived with this traditional Vietnamese family and after that I moved into a nice studio and lived by myself for 6 years and did other stuff that I won’t go into detail about here.

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Nice to hear some of your story. I like when forum members share stuff like that at length. A snippet into your life. Maybe I’ll share a story like that about me too.

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I hear ya on the decline. I have peaks and valleys but some nights my memory is so bad. Probably a combination of meds, sz, high blood sugar resulting from diabetes, stress lately maybe other factors.

I am also on the physical decline thanks to so much weight gain from quitting smoking and age.

Its nice to be able to breathe but I really miss the dopamine hit from cigarettes and its making me gain weight.

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Your story is interesting and depressing. I wonder why your life was so good in the early days? Would you like to go to AA meetings again? You could be an inspiration for many and it would be companionship. Alternatively why do you prefer to be on your own? I could do with some of that because I love company and need to spend more time alone. Life is not over in your 60’s… it’s the start of the golden years. Maybe retirement could offer you more

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Same here maid 13 years in the first apartment after the halfway house and had some good friends and 13 years in the apartment I live in now in solitude. Most of the friends and people I knew before were mentally and have now all passed away. The only one I visit now is my mom who is 80 years old and living in a care facility. Besides she is schizoaffective and demented. My dad had drinking problems and a very rare kind of dementia and he passed away some years ago.

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