I can’t talk to my friend about his drinking or it will upset his daughter who confided in me…so he now wants to play dice at night on the phone like we always do and I’m afraid I will lose my cool and call him out on his lying to me about his drinking…it’s killing him and I doubt he will be alive much longer…I guess I have to talk to him, don’t I?
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Won’t make a difference. Wait for him to talk to you about his drinking. That’s when it matters. Until then it will fall on deaf ears.
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he never will though…frustrated…don’t know what I’m going to do…I want to shut him out of my life while he kills himself.
Not every moment with a friend needs to be a broski moment. Give Support when support is asked. Cutting him out will mean you not being his friend. You don’t have to be okay with his choices but you also can’t change his life for him. You can’t fix this so stay out of his personal choices and his family drama. The last thing you want is for him to shelve you with everyone else who has cut him off for his behavior.
Yes it is possible to be a friend without approving of his behavior. You have to find that line and stick to it without becoming overly involved in someone else’s business.
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Yes I find it ok 
that you are addressing his drinking 
problem.
I feel betrayed..he had this beat when he got out of the hospital three years ago…he had cirrhosis then so he’s choosing to die…he talks all the time how he loves me and his daughters laughing and crying all the time when it’s all just been the booze talking…I am afraid if I do talk to him that I am going to blow my top…that’s why I’m afraid of talking to him @sweetpotatopie
My buddy smokes a gang load of weed, daps, and other things and drinks. We go out every week. I was a RN. I want to tell him he’s ruining his health, but I’ve seen people do heroin for 30 years and have virtually perfect health and my cousin never touched a pop or ate candy until she was almost 50 had genetic markers for breast cancer and she got it and overcame it. I figure there’s a lot I don’t know and the best thing I can do is be a friend and not judge. I understand your concern though. It’s human.
Don’t take it personally. His personal struggle addiction doesn’t mean he’s trying to hurt YOU. You haven’t been betrayed because he is struggling with his life.
He is so stubborn…he only wants to steer the convo to his daughters or some music he’s listening to…he won’t listen to reason…he’s a jerk I think…i don’t like him that much and this is too much for me to handle.
Some people don’t want to talk about certain parts of their lives because then they have to think about it and confront their demon. He’s not a jerk. He’s wounded. If you don’t want to be his friend anymore then don’t be. You are in your right not to feel guilty about it. Be at peace, man. Do what makes you healthy. Being angry at him fixes nothing.
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thank you…he was very abusive in a marriage to his first wife that I was also friends with…I spent a great deal of time not speaking to him…we made up but I’ve always held that against him…he’s not a nice person…yes I feel some guilt but he made his bed, now he can lie in it.
We are all broken in different ways. You don’t need to take on the brokenness of someone else and the emotions that go with it. You are responsible for your own broken parts and keeping yourself together. If part of that means letting go of certain feelings and emotions with other people’s problems then do that. Do what you need to be healthy.
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thank you for your wisdom and understanding…
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It’s an addiction.
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he had it beat when he got out of the hospital…went back in apparently…not my dog.
It’s not something you beat, it’s where you try for a lifelong stalemate. The people who think they have won, haven’t.
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