Many of us may be afraid that our neighbors will find out that we have sz/sza, and one of the ways they’ll find out is by asking what do we do for a living. Consequently, we may be afraid to walk around our neighborhood due to this fear.
There is no objectively best answer to the question of what do you do for a living, but there are psychological techniques to answering the question without really answering the question. Maybe the most effective of these techniques is called pivoting. In this context, pivoting is changing the direction of the question(s). Here is an example:
Neighbor: what do you do for a living?
You: what do you do for a living?
Neighbor: I’m a firefighter.
You: Where do you work?
Neighbor: New York.
You: How long have you been a firefighter?
Neighbor: 15 years.
You: What motivated you to become a firefighter?
Neighbor: Ever since I was a little boy…yada, yada, yada…and the rest is history.
You: Nice talking to you. Take care.
If you feel that you want to answer a question, don’t say anything specific; you want to be vague. An answer of “nothing in particular” is excellent, then pivot and say that it was nice talking to you. Take care.
I hope this may be helpful if you’re afraid to walk around your neighborhood due to being asked the question of what do you do for a living.
I just say I had to stop working bc I became disabled and no one usually has the gall to actually ask how you’re disabled. Or I say I retired. I don’t really look old enough to retire but I don’t care. I did tell one neighbor I had schizophrenia and it was fine bc his brother does too. But for all I know it’s all over the neighborhood anyway.
I say I’m not working due to an illness. If they ask what illness I lightly say I don’t like talking about it. I say I prefer focusing on the positives in life. Then I change the subject
When I was talking to some snooty family members one time (they married in, and it was my first time meeting them), I just made myself sound like a housewife with leisure time to volunteer and do dog shows. Both were true, so it worked. I don’t do either now, but I do teach, so I can honestly tell people that. And if all that fails, I will mentioned that I’m disabled. I have the cane to prove it!
I think answering a question with answering the other part the same question as a reply would be considered kind of rude, it’s better to just be vague if you don’t want to tell the truth.
I tell everyone I have schizophrenia. I don’t care. It’s true. I don’t hide it. Most people only care about themselves unless they want something from you. So, I know they could care less. It’s more how telling people makes me feel than them. My neighbor’s know I’m schz. I chit chat sometimes. But I mostly avoid them.
(For folks who have yet to watch The Sopranos, Tony is really in the Mob, but he can’t exactly tell people the truth about what he does )
In all honesty, if it comes up, I sometimes tell people I am currently looking to go back to grad school. It’s kind of true as grad school is a dream of mine, however it’s been on hold for a long time now.
…Most of the time I just avoid people all together though— problem solved, lol.
If someone asked me the times I’ve been unemployed, I would probably just tell them I’m unemployed at the moment. If I was 100% disabled I might say something like personal projects, or studying(something I know a bit about), or volunteering if I did that.
I would say I’m a writer - even though I haven’t published my books yet. Because I do write on occasion and have written a book about my sza. Also that I’m a housewife and personal assistant to my husband.
If people ask me do you work, I usually just say no I’m unemployed. But as I’m a writer I might just get published eventually and change that to self employed. Let’s hope that happens eventually. But it’s the avolition and depression that’s so bad, that’s stopping me from even house work sometimes let alone writing consistently. Writing consistently with my sza is impossible. I write once in a blue moon and most of the time the avolition takes over. So I’m a part time writer really.
Like I moved sideways years ago and it only really affects me with dating. Like I’m on a disability pension and I live with my family. Like that don’t worry me because I’m not dating but it doesn’t rule me out of the game because of some curious circumstance.
It’s tough. It really is but unemployed in the current climate isn’t a deal breaker!
)