What should i do now
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I think, when you get to this point, you have to search to find something. Talk to your doctor, preferably a psychiatrist. This is so tough to deal with. I wish I had better answers for you.
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They will put me in hospital 
Also thdy just can give meds meds doesnt work on me
It is difficult for a lot of people to be alive and just experience each moment of life. It is hard for me too right now, but I have weeks where time moves very well for me. My brain is in sluggish state right now so I cannot do anything but just sit here and browse internet.
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I need to have good rutine if im too muchbdoing one day second day i dont want doing . Need to sleep early . Exercise and sleep again then will be better
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I get overtired fast
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Yes that was hell for me when I was working. Aps cause chronic mental fatigue
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Too many distractions and everyone wants to move you out of your path
Life could be so much worse man. Seems you just need some hobbies to help keep your mind occupied. You have talent with art
I have hobbies but i cant do hobbies all the time. My art is garbage i hate it
I will try learning jews harp and want to learn meditate with drum.but idk purpose of it
That’s good you have hobbies. I don’t have many of those. But I try to keep my mind off all the bad, and focus on the good things
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Sorry to hear that
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If something doesn’t work try something different. That’s what I do..If I’m down I try this, if it doesn’t work I try that. I’m easy going my life was hell. I grew up in a dumpy apartment in a gang fighting all of the time and in trouble. Worked in factories long hours overtime. Went to college 17.5 years sometimes while working sometimes not. I worked myself to death. Going out every night drinking. Now, I value peace. I can sit and do nothing and feel satisfied. Maybe you have a need in you to live. Maybe volunteer or just have a routine go to a bookstore everyday read there and get a coffee or just sit there. Go for a walk. If you feel unfulfilled no routine will make that go away. You just gotta find a way to live. I here you in pain everyday talking and it feels like to me based on what you say you feel you haven’t lived. I hope you find fulfillment in the simple things one day. Fantasy is always greater than reality. Most of life sucks. Enjoy your freedom.
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