I see my wife about fifteen mins. in the morning for coffee…about thirty mins. for breakfast and then the rest of the time she is in her room on the computer…I complained I wanted to see more of her a while ago and she said “entertain yourself, you see my plenty”…it’s not fair. I don’t think it is anyways…I love her dearly and want more time she calls me emotionally needy…she is a loner at heart and doesn’t need anyone really…she tells me she loves me and will kiss me if I ask for one nicely. but man, it just doesn’t seem like much.
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As an introvert I can understand her position. I have a short social battery that takes a long time to charge. I don’t think she doesn’t like you.
she’s just a loner is all…I get that.
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So are you asking for advice? Venting?
Seems like you are not happy with the relationship or certainly the way it is.
I wouldn’t be either.
The coercive control she has over you in regard to you smoking is a particularly odd sitaution.
Are you strong enough to go it alone?
Lots of questions you should be asking yourself.
If a woman was posting about a coercive controlled relationship most people would say leave.
You often say things like ‘but i’m happy’ but obviously you are quite the opposite.
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Sounds like your needs are not met
-most of your friends are married.
Don’t you feel sad?
-I feel sad but I can’t help them.
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Some ppl especially those who arent mentally unwell etc often tend to be able to b alone more easily idk why. I think afflictions like our disease make us a little more ‘needy’
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well mainly I feel like I’ve addressed the situation, we talked over coffee this morning and she said she will try to be more available…so I feel better…
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Thats great news jukebox.
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I agree with @Zoe before sz I lived alone two years and was fine now with sz I can barely handle being alone two days on the weekends
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Mine is wanting more attention than I give. I’m more or less a cat in human form. It causes problems.
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I understand it; being alone used to feel scary i craved company for comfort from the disease. I still do to a different degree now.
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My wife and I are very reliant on eachother. We do enjoy periods of being alone too; ie where I may sit read/pray outback, or she watches a TV series at the front of the house. We come together to spend time as a family of 4. And as a pair/couple. It’s about balance. We have been through so much together, from our own struggles to external struggles. We are very much strong and forged on solid foundation. Very little can rock us, in truth.
Obstacles. When Im unwell, I may isolate more and speak very little. I may be short-tempered or emotional. I wont be as attentive with housework, meals or tea-making. This throws the harmony of the house out of balance. But again, we have external-interventions in place to make sure everyone is safe and well (mostly for my wife and the kids).
After all these years. We still enjoy nothing more than going shopping together, watching Chick-Flicks, making love, chatting over times past, going for walks, discussing topics and exchanging views… it sounds more complex than it is. But we’re happy.
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Juke I think if you want more time with your wife your going to have to get creative. Maybe get her to play games with you?
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