Hey @Turtle my day was good. Walked at the gym with my Mom. How was your day?
Hey @Corion - I moved your baseball question to this Say Anything thread. You originally posted it randomly in the current mods thread. It makes more sense here in the say anything thread
My crotch smells like McDonald fillet o fish again
Totally my bad I got confused!
Thank you!
It sounds like youāve been busy renovating though. Iāve got to the point by slowly adding things in, that doomscrolling and doing nothing is less tolerable than putting slight effort into something. Maybe thats also cause paleo diet has mostly got rid of my voices. Maybe start by doing more things that are mildly interesting or fun. Coffee makes things fun for me.. good luck. I know negs arenāt easy to deal with.
Coffee really helps me too but I canāt drink more than one cup due to panic attacks.
You seem to do fine. Reading biology and stuff.
just got done playing dice on the phone like we always do dailyā¦.things are back to seemingly normal with my alkie friendā¦he doesnāt have long so Iām just biding my patience to be his friend with no remorseā¦heās dear to meā¦oh wellā¦
coffee def helps. Yeah it can be a pain though, it affects my sleep and panics me sometimes too. I think what helped is having someone to be accountable to. Like for biology study, if i donāt submit something every month, i get kicked off the course, for the art course i started we have assingments , and I work out because i have said I will and am booked in with a personal trainer.
i have no idea how or why caffeine just barely affects me. probably the antipsychotic helping out there?
i drink monster energy pretty regularly, at this point just for the flavorā¦
Slept for like an hour, want to go back to sleep. I probably wonāt though, feel wide awake.
Iāve gained weight back that iāve lost. I really need to get my diet in control, its so hard on Olanzapine. ![]()
I keep thinking Iām scared to die I donāt want to die but itās going to happen someday everything I will leave behind and just how miserable it will beā¦.
Whatās making you think of it?
Not sure⦠just fear settling in I guess Iām just in a mood
I get you, happens to me too. Random moments of very real fear but no explanation either
Hopefully it passes soon
@Mr.Apple @Rainstorm hope you guys are OK. I hate death anxiety, but I think it can be alleviated by living fully. Partially got that view from Osho.
Itās cold, but because Iām not smoking my body temp has gone up which is usually the case when iām not smoking. Trying to get myself to do some chemistry for my natural science module but I really canāt be bothered. just want to go back to sleep but after the hour sleep iām wide awake still lol
Things could always be worse and things can always be better :). ![]()
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Time for bed.
Im having a terrible night. Felt like a fat pig the last 2 hours after binge eating. Im having palpitations and feeling very anxious. To the point where iām considering taking some Ativan, something I havenāt done in a while. Iām getting back on my grind tomorrow when it comes to my diet. If I can get down to lets say 165 pounds at 5ā6 in height, I will feel a million times healthier.