I got diagnosed in 1980 at age 19. I made the rounds of hospitals and group homes and saw the psychiatrists and therapists. The first 2 1/2 years were the hardest, the symptoms were constant and intense and almost overwhelming, I suffered for about 2 1/2 years, every second of every day, no relief.
Then after an 8 month stay in the hospital I got released to a nice, safe, clean group home, I joined a vocational program, I became what in the ‘80’s we called “stable”. I got a job, and a bunch of crap happened to me, I moved around and got addicted to crack, then near the end of the ‘80’s I was hospitalized again, several times in rapid succession, usually just for three days to a week each time. I had been taking my medication religiously (am I allowed to say that, lol?) but I still relapsed and there was more suffering and agony, it was about a year before I pulled out of that relapse.
I had got fired from my job after 4 years and then I got a couple more jobs. In 1989, when I was 28 I had just gotten out of the hospital and I couldn’t live on own and my dad didn’t know what to do with me so he put me in an emergency temporary crisis home for people who just gotten out of the hospital. I made some friends there and partied a little but the house was a blessing in disguise. I was still addicted to crack but I wandered downstairs one night and discovered an AA meeting going on in the dining room, about 6 people were in it and they invited me to join them. I was in the right place at the right time and the people in the meeting were friendly and funny and interesting and I liked it so much I started going regularly. So when January of 1990 rolled around I had my last drink and stopped smoking crack, now 36 years later I haven’t touched alcohol or drugs since 1990.
Anyways, I lived in that house for four months. I met some interesting people there, I met one 22 year old guy who had spent three years in prison for beating to death a guy with a 2x4 who insulted his friends girlfriend. Nicest guy you would ever want to meet, he liked me and we talked often, he was taking classes to be a cook, I think his name was Angel. And I had a couple of other friends there too.
From there I went into a board and care home. I stayed there 5 years and worked and went to school the entire time. I was going to five or six AA, CA and NA meetings a week and I made a friend there, I think we were the only ones there not drinking or doing drugs, all the other residents were getting in trouble and I stayed out of it. Incidentally my friend there was schizophrenic too, nice guy and funny as hell.
In 1995 after 5 years there I moved into my sisters duplex and rented a room from her. I was still experiencing symptoms but I was also living a fairly normal life, I hung out with my friend and my sister and her friends and my family. I moved a couple of more times and I was renting a room in this ladies house.
I had 7 roommates and I got along with most of them. I was in my forties by then and that’s when my symptoms started improving, some delusions went away and I stopped fearing that I would go in the hospital any day. And over the next 20 years I got better, my symptoms were less intense, my episodes shorter. Now I’m 64 and my symptoms aren’t strong at all, aside from freaking out about the one neighbor I am doing pretty good. I guess I might have delusions about the neighbor but some of it seems real. But other than that I sound pretty normal when I talk.
I talk to people at work and a few of my neighbors here. When I’m at work I’m barely thinking about my disease, I’m too busy working. I have no idea how people see me at work, I don’t know if they think I’m crazy or what. Our whole crew is disabled so maybe the soldiers/office workers know about us but most of them still treat us with respect, I get called sir 3 or 4 times most days. Some of the women are friendly there I have no problem with them.
But yeah, my symptoms are at an all time low and it’s great. I spend most days surfing this site and YouTube and run errands and go to doctors appointments. I always heard that symptoms get better with age and it’s certainly been true in my case.
