Depression and running commentary today

Lounge
41

Nice to meet you too!

1 Like
42

Im married near 30 yrs and ive been ill since teenager but got worse from age 32 when i had a 2nd major breakdown

@Vaiana

43

My mum gets headaches from atmospheric pressure. I think im the same. Trump bus on news this morning caused extra stress tbh

1 Like
44

Aiii the extra stress is real. The pressure headaches also sound bad Iā€™m sorry @Ducky

1 Like
45

Iā€™m not in mood for music but the friend insists on playing a bit.

46

You play bass om or keyboard or drums I canā€™t recall

1 Like
47

Guitar i play

1 Like
48

Do you enjoy fripps work?

1 Like
49

Heā€™s probably my favorite guitarist

1 Like
50

Might just be tension headaches from meds or the weather.

51

Iā€™m 26 years old, I think it was around 2020/2021 I started to have psychosis, I had episodes when I was hearing voices all day and became paranoid

The first time it started I was living alone in a place for students (I was in the university)

I just locked myself at home for several months, and didnā€™t go at school a whole semester I thought people were threatening me through walls (I just went outside to buy food, and walked inside the building to shower and cook) Once when I went to buy food I thought men followed me and I was scared

I came back at school for the second semester and I felt on edge at school and just outside overall

I decided to do a gap year for my mental health (I didnā€™t have only that, I also had so much anxiety I needed a medication because my anxiety was making me lose what I was eating I donā€™t know how to explain I hope you understood)

I came back at my momā€™s home and I had again psychosis and I saw people through the hole of the door and heard threats

I saw pics doing scary smiles, and when I looked at my reflection it was like I was gonna be killed

I was so scared, I said that to my family but no one was hearing what I was hearing

Thereā€™s a friend from university I talked about that that said to me it was probably psychosis (heā€™s schizophrenic)

He talked about a brief psychotic episode

Itā€™s when I learned what I was hearing wasnā€™t true

I went in French Caribbean at my grandmaā€™s home and felt better (Iā€™m half French Caribbean and half from Normandy,another region of France)

I was much more calm, more happy

I had sometimes voices when I was watching the same video all day long and when I was alone at the second house (At my grandmaā€™s there are two houses next to each other, I was in a second house with my uncle but sometimes he was at his girlfriendā€™s home), I also had voices when I was with my mother god friends and I was scared to diss them

But it wasnā€™t all the time I could handle that

I came back in France mainland at my momā€™s home

I didnā€™t hear threats at my momā€™s home anymore

I started other studies and started to work part-time

It started back

When I was at work it was horrible I was so anxious, I was hearing voices from the beginning until the end of work non stop

And at home the threatening voices came back

I started to feel like a boys band was bullying me, I said something about that on the web and then it looked like I was hacked

The profile pic of someone on Discord would duplicate(a pic of a devil smiling)

And it was like they were seeing everything I was doing on my computer, on my phone

The singers would put weird things that looked like they were bullying me even more, like they were threatening me

On a manga site where thereā€™s a forum I appreciate to go it looked like someone was talking about me and criticizing me about what I said about the boys band on the web

I sent a message to this person, I apologized, and this person said Iā€™m not angry but whatever they were saying I felt like it was sarcasm

All of that made me have several mental breakdown

I finally talked to my doctor and said I was hearing voices and she told me to see a psychiatrist

I was scared it would be expensive and what my doctor said reassured me

I found a psychiatrist that takes my health insurance

I had my first appointement in April 2024,since then I have medication

After several months I stopped hearing voices most of the time, I still hear some sometimes tho

2 Likes
52

It sounds like youve been through a lot @Vaiana

Here on this forum you should gradually get to know people who understand because been through schizophrenia/ sza /psychosis themselves

I hope you get support from your mum. I read your dad and sister arent very supportive thou

I wish you peace and recovery!

1 Like
53

Thank you

My bro is in denial and says I should stop my medication before becoming crazy

My mom supported me for my medication and said to ignore my dad when I told her he said to me something mean

But she changes mind all the time

Once I explained to her what is schizophrenia and she said it looks like you, and when I said ā€œmaybe I have schizophreniaā€ she was like ā€œno, itā€™s nothing You will healā€ and another time she said ā€œItā€™s the fault of your friend (the schizophrenic one) that you became like thatā€ (I donā€™t have a diagnosis yet)

So I donā€™t know

I talked about that to a irl friend and heā€™s supportive

So I have at least one person I can talk with

I hope you feel joy despite the illness and that youā€™re stabilized

1 Like
54

Yes, I used to listen to him in my prog days 20 years ago

1 Like
55

After rehearsal, my voices are better.

2 Likes
56

Im sorry your family arent understanding your illness it seems. Im sure if you give them time they will understand better.

Have you been admitted to a psych hospital ever? Or see a psychiatrist? You say your not dx sz or anything but obviously you have upsetting experiences with voices?

I have ups and downs. Feel like i want to be left in peace to think and process all the time. I cant handle any stress , everything feels overwhelming

57

I never went admitted to a psych ward

I see a psychiatrist once every two months

I hope the ups will last longer than the downs

2 Likes
58

Thankyou you too!

15characters

59

Thank you :blush:

1 Like
60

I canā€™t sleep.

I took prn