Grief and darkness

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A few months ago my dad died of cancer. Not long after my dog developed cancer symptoms and he was becoming so sick we had to put him to sleep.

The grief has put me in a very dark place. I’m seeing a therapist but it only scratches the surface.

If you know the scene in the Neverending Story where Atreyu’s horse sinks into the swamp, it’s been feeling like that lately.

Part of me feels like I need to stand guard at the edge of life and death to protect my dog still.

I know loss and grief are always hard, but have you felt the absolute blackness?

I’m sending love and healing to you if so. I think we can heal. It’s hard to believe right now.

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That’s a lot to deal with. Hope you get some peace. You never get over losing a parent, you just deal. It makes the days hard.

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I’m so sorry you lost both in such a short time. I can’t imagine your pain. I’m sending virtual hugs

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hugs feather. I hope you’re ok.

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Yes, I can relate.

My mom had cancer for three years.She had treatment,but had to use public transport from chemo in hospital.. Once she asked me if she can take a taxi when returning.We were broke.

My brother came from abroad and we both helped her. I don’t want to go in details,but when her treatment of secondary cancer had ended,she died of heart attack on my hands.

Later I developed some strange sickness like high temperature that lasted six months. It turned to be reaction to stress.

To cut story,while my dog died, had grief for two years.

Hang on @feather…

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Ny mom died in july 2012 i never got over it and it will bother me for the rest of my life. It does kinda get easier over time some what anyway.

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I have felt absolute blackness st the beginning of my psychosis. Passing time helped.

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this too shall pass…take time to grieve when you have to and try to feel better when you can…hills and valleys…I ‘m sorry you lost your dad and pet…hard to take…don’t worry it will get better and one day you will feel peace.

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Hello @feather , hello everyone else who posted here.

I am so, so sorry for your losses. And while I can’t empathise with that particular loss (because both my parents are still alive), I completely sympathise and feel for you - I really do. I was hit very hard when my grandmother died in 2005 - she brought up me and my sister while my parents went out to work.

I think and have heard that it does get, if not easier, then in some ways more bearable, and life does become more worth living again.

Hang in there :folded_hands::folded_hands:

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Hello @feather ,

I am very sorry for my last post here.

For what it’s worth, and whatever my other diagnoses are, I definitely have OCD.

So when I said that I can’t completely empathise with what you are going through, I was allowing my OCD to tell me that ‘empathy’ equals having actually been throught that situation yourself. (As opposed to sympathy, when you care about the person, but have not directly been through what they are going through).

I am sorry that I allowed my OCD to take over like that.

Truth be told, I do empathise with what you’re going through - both because of losses that I’ve had in my own life, but also because I dread every day the time when my parents will be gone. Quite honestly, I spend a lot of energy trying not to think about it.

I am so sorry for your losses, for the loss of your father, and for the loss of your beloved dog.

Hugs

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I understand that very well. I lost my father tó cancer 9 years ago it was a very sad year. Now my mother who’s got SZ like me is living in a nursing home. I have been very concerned for her because she protracted influenzas last week but I think she’s gonna make it. She is 80 years old.