since they have departed I try to communicate with them
can visualise their presence and exchange sentiment
mentally I am not so sure this is healthy
but these people were some of the only ones who actually can understand my spoken words and intent behind them
most of the other people I deal with feels like stepping on a land mine communication wise most of the time and it gets stressful so I usually don’t say much
i don’t have many people left who I can really confide in
miss the connection I had with these people
apart from parents and brother there is only health workers and I put up walls to stop them even getting close
At the beginning of last year I had a really bad psychotic episode that resulted in a fall and loss of consciousness. I had terrible anxiety for months thereafter. But I had the most profound comfort while in psychosis because I believed without a shadow of a doubt that life continues when our bodies are gone. I communicated with old ancestors and relatives in my break. They had access to information about the world from the end of time and there were absolutely amazing technologies we’ve yet to discover in 2026. I know they’re just delusions, looking back, but it still sticks with me that there is life after death. That’s my personal belief.