If your negative thoughts are a product of mental illness or have become a character flaw?
Ive never been a super negative person before sz/ocd but the shi t i think is disgusting . I dont know if the anger and ocd have become who I am now…
Am I really as bas as my thoughts or is it illness? Ive done some dirt in my life too but I never wanted to hurt people or control them or anything.
Now I feel like when im around peoole im full of hate and corruption. On top of it i have to fight thought broadcasting. I am going to continue to do the best I can to embrace this garbage but I dont want to be that person….
Besides the illness itself we are also committed to take debilitating medication that darkens the mind. It’s crappy, but being darker is better than being psychotic in the end.
i agree catman. honesly i think many of us dont realize the weight that is placed upon us from being sick cause were just used to it. although life can be hard for everyone i feel like its extra hard for us. Anyways with a good attitude we can do anything… im starting to realize in life to just accept things as they are. sometimes its the desire for more that makes us hurt.
Part of it is MI and part of it is habits you build around MI. It messes up your life in a negative way and you can develop negative traits as a result. This is common in AA. You stop drinking, but your whole life is still bent around the booze and your drinking habits. Stealing, lying, other stuff. It takes a while to replace those habits.
AA has 12 Steps. The first deals with alcohol. The rest deal with the damage alcohol did to you as a person, the pile of bad habits and bad decisions the booze turned you into.
This is why I push the therapy books so hard and so often. We can manage the MI, but we can manage it better if we can unscrew ourselves from our illness.
. I dont know if the anger and ocd have become who I am now…