Yesterday I was able to read for like 2 hours in total.
It was really cool.
I like physics I was reading on AI chatgpt.
But today I cannot focus. Idk why but I have noticed with this condition it seems to be impossible to maintain any hobby.
It really makes me upset.
That is why i need a job asap.
At least i wont go insane then from doing nothing.
Does anyone relate?
I got a job call today but they have not responded to my email.
I told them the last time i worked was 2023.
I dont think he liked that. Idk
Advice I was given was take the break if you need to as it’s not productive if you can’t focus
It was a course mentor told me a while back as I was getting stressed about similar thing
Thanks @Joker it has been like this since 2016.
I cant seem to upkeep a hobby unless it is something i do with other ppl.
But my social anxiety is strong
Maybe i need to reconsider my hobbies.
But even then i get a feeling that i cannot maintain them.
Its like being stuck in an invisible prison.
2016 is when i was medicated
Yeah I struggle with hobbies, I jump too often from one to the next, I’m learning to be ok with it, I mean im always learning new things. @Zoe how is the watercolour painting going?
It took me a very long time to get back into hobbies
Hope you can achieve this too
Maintain low effort challenge.
I cannot focus on anything i just do something then when i cant do moremi dont do. And do something else . I dont care about achievements . Unless.its job
Sorry to hear that Ish.
Yea that is what i was thinking, try something different.
Watercolour painting is something i can do.
But i cannot afford it atm.
So now there is nothing to do.
I feel a lot of anhedonia too. Making it more difficult to start things.
Thats why i was delighted yesterday when i could read.
But now it is almost like my brain repels me from reading.
Its good that you can enjoy your hobbies ":))
Maybe i just need to find different hobbies
Easier ones more fun ones
Thanku
Yea i am looking for a job.
Its hard with my huge employment gaps
But i do like cleaning so that could be like my hobby once i get accepted somewhere.
What was your motivation yesterday to read?
i read yesterday on twitter that it was a famous phycisist birthday, richard feynman; that inspired me, but now I feel like bleh again :,(
Maybe search for different topic in physics
Watch big bang theory tv show its funny maybe you get inspired again
I’m not sure if you would like me puting my comments here. All I want to say is those positive symptoms you had in recent years could have negative impacts on your congnitive abilities. I know you hate Antipsychotics. I hated them either in my early years of taking meds. I stopped taking them in 2011 and let myself suffered from those dreadful delusions and hallusinations for 2-3 years. Then I was hospitalized again in 2013 and was put on heavier meds. Since that time my cognitive ability can not recover to the level of before 2011. Before 2011 I did my PHD study. After 2013 I could barely do reading and writing. only about 0ne hour everyday. I reap what I sow.
I can understand how you feel. I lost interest in reading. Maybe if you read something, take notes. Start for maybe 5 minutes a day and gradually get into it. I haven’t worked for years but I imagine it’s about filling in the gaps and explaining why you were absent. I think I will make up an excuse like I was busy with childcare… it’s true in a way but hides the fact that I have been suffering from schizophrenia.
I got a job at McDonald’s, even though I didn’t work since 1997. But I had to quit. It was extremely physically difficult for me, to stand around for just 4 hours, and they wanted me to work more than 5 hours. I began limping, taking things to people waiting at curbside. It’s a very difficult job.
You could maybe go to school for artist for advertising, or things like that.