Everyday , heatwave , losing it more than usual stressing hubby and myself. Last night i thought i didnt have schizophrenia and stressed about that. Tonight told hubby he had to move out asap because i was upset and irritated by him. Then we talked. Money worries, weve no debt but food and toiletries are ridiculous. I can barely afford to eat. So hubby said he will do shopping and cook everyday for us, weight lifted. I can’t think straight though and i keep thinking bad things. One minute i think i can change my life around with effort and then reality kicks in and i realise how useless i am. I can’t do jack about my situation or little. Im agoraphobic as well so i freak out at going out anywhere, even short ten mins away. Its no wonder i get over the edge
I hope things settle down for you @Ducky . Things you’re saying remind me of my earlier days with the disorder and the instability it would cause me. It’s good you have a significant other to help you though. During my rough days I would wander the streets alone and get lost.
Money is tight for a lot of us but I’m one of the optimistic ones that this won’t last forever. Something’s gotta give eventually.
Really cool that he can cook. I’m stuck eating ready made stuff if I don’t want to cook, and I can only make like four dishes.
The heat wave sucks. I can’t wait for fall.
Thanks @Agent101g bless you, your always so kind. Hubby can do basics cooking it tastes nice. Im sorry you were homeless and i hope your having a good night.
I go down rabbitholes with my thoughts. So i think about something and it leads me to places in my head
@Agent101g that reminds me when i first went on antipsychotics i slept and was tired all the time. Hubby would tell me dinner was ready and id be in bed asleep
Then i became suicidal all the time. I was overmedicated and poorly. I was frequently in psych wards. Then in one for 20 months. Then in supported living
Now im living with hubby again and im still loopy a lot, but he is really supportive and understands. 30 yrs together next year! 2027
Life is crazy for me theres been good and bad times, very little stability
you can have good times again…glad you sorted things out with husband.
im truly sorry you are going thru such a hard time. i understand the pain you must be feeling-pain that makes you feel like you are stuck. dont worry, keep working on yourself and keep challenging those thoughts-im sure eventually you will have a breakthrough. it’s not easy but its not easy being in this situation. its going to be ok, dont worry. sorry i deleted my comment-i didnt want to de rail a topic that isnt mine.
Its ok @waffles
Yes it must be hard for everyone here
I wish i could find spirituality again i was brought up reading the bible.
Its difficult to think like that and have faith in the bible again for me.
I dont mean to talk about religion just lightly mentioning it thats all
its as easy as speaking to a friend, like a gentle reminder you are still willing to start over. i softly bring religion to my comments and threads so no one is triggered and to abide by the rules here-but thats just who i am, thats what i been bought up with and saved by. but dont lose hope just know he is one thought and word away, never lose faith ducky. i hope i dont get in trouble lol. i dont really care, its my truth and my way of life. i just hope you find peace and whatever you interpret as happiness, life gets better; have faith.
Yes i hear you. I will try my best
good luck, if you ever need to chat or are feeling down, im here. we all care for each other in this forum-you dont have to go through this in silence and alone. be well ducky.
Thankyou much appreciated
stay cool ducky! i know its hot out there… can cause irritability.
This heatwave is killing me im trying not to lose my head
The flat is about 40 degrees c
damn i see, must be hot 
ive been parked in front of the fan all day. landlord had the a/c off for days! hope you can cool off maybe time to take a cold shower or something
Thanks yea ive just had a cold shower its 10.30pm and dark, weve got Friday and Sat before it cools down
i see wow, wishing you the best 
maybe a good idea to make some nice lemonade or something to keep cool!
How come your landlord had the ac off?
no clue. i guess to save money like a cheap ass lol. He’s kept the door open and the a/c off. i messaged them today tho and they turned it back on