Maybe I won’t have another relapse. I mean it’s possible but I haven’t been in the hospital in 11 years and before that for 25 years. My relapse in 2015 set me back for sure but I was only in the hospital for two days and I don’t feel I was psychotic, I was suicidal because I had gotten kicked out of my housing and my mom had just died and that put me over the edge.
So I don’t know if that was an official relapse of symptoms. It affected me for sure, I had lived in regular society renting rooms in peoples houses and my “relapse” put me back in the system, I ended up in a board and care in 2016-2017 and then supported housing. It was only this past year that I moved back into normal housing in this studio.
I’ve felt a few times like I was going crazy in the past ten years but it was only temporary, a couple times it was intense, I was right on the edge. But maybe at age 65 I don’t have to worry about a relapse anymore, my symptoms are pretty well controlled and stress is uncomfortable but manageable. If no ones bothering me at work or home my mental health is pretty good. It’s only when I feel threatened that I go a little crazy.