Okay, ladies. If you were a “career woman” who is moving up the female dominated corporate ladder, would you buy an “engagement ring” off of a schizophrenic man of whom proposed that ring to you? I believe she doesn’t want to marry me otherwise the “wedding” would have occurred already. She prefers not to marry a schizophrenic. However, she has the ring and if she buys it off me (which she certainly can), we call it even and we both go our separate ways.
Perspectives? Opinions? Advice?
I have not put forth this request yet to her which is why I am asking anonymous women here on the forum.
I think that women are good people generally, but that anyone would be tempted by a ring, if the relationship has had broken down. So it’s possible she just wants to keep the ring
@FreeLunch Oh, I believe she must have taken pictures of her wearing the ring and shown it to her girlfriends. There is “drama” between me & her but what relationship doesn’t, right?
I dont know much about the legal system there, but in the US I think accepting the ring but then not getting married would probably be considered a “breach of contract” and you should be able to get it back. On the issue of getting her to buy it, in my mind that seems unlikely. But what do I know?
@SzSupportAdmin That’s fair in regards to your perspective. What makes you believe she wouldn’t buy the ring because she earns more money than I do and is stable? Women like to buy themselves fancy trinkets that usually a man would have been able to afford for them.
I dont know if you have good relations with this woman, but the fact that she is willing to take the ring but wants to keep it without marrying you tends to make me believe that she has no interest in doing you favors. I think if she wants a ‘trinket’ she would probably go pick out her own and probably isnt interested in paying for something that you bought.
@SzSupportAdmin Women are indirect in their communications with men. Men are direct in their communications with women. I believe she is happy to receive the ring. She is doing favours that benefit both of us and the relationship. That an interesting perspective regarding the “trinket”. I never thought about the “picking her own ring”. But I know she has taken photos wearing the ring and has show those photos to her girlfriends. I don’t know. I am just so confused.
I dont think thats always the case. I dont remember where this woman is from. And I dont mean a descendant of. I mean where has she spent the majority of her life…if you dont want to share this, thats fine, but it might give us a better idea of her cultural beliefs if we know what environment she has spent most of her life. If she has spent most of her time in the west, I think there is a very good chance you are misreading the situation.
Just because she is sharing pictures of it doesnt mean she is willing ot pay money out of her own pocket for it. If she has no intention of marrying you , but accepted the ring, I serioiusly doubt she will have any qualms about bleeping you over further.
I cant speak to other cultures, but around these parts, you dont accept an engagement ring without any intention of marrying. It shows a moral failing. And makes it seem like she is just willing to take what she can get from you, if this is the case.
@SzSupportAdmin She is the same ethnicity as I and we speak the same languages. She was born overseas and raised in the West at a young age. Her parents and she speak their dialect. We were both raised in the same city but went to different high schools. Met her at work and she had passed majority of my criteria for a partner. Didn’t know she earned a undergraduate degree with honours at a renowned university under the faculty of accounting.
“Misreading the situation” could be a possibility. But from my experience with women, they enjoy “discussing” or “gossiping” or “girl talking” stuff that I do not understand. They have their “network” of friends, family & associates.
“intention of marrying”, you see… she’s going to be 40-years in 6-months and I question why she is postponing & delaying the marriage & conceiving. I feel her “career” is taking priority.
Thats a complex mix of origin and where raised. If it was more cleancut than that as far as different cultural values, I was going to say, that I have no idea then.
If she was a primarily western woman, like I said above, if she took with no intention of marrying, it would definitely indicate a moral failing and appear that she is just using you.
But because she has so complex a mix of …im not sure of the word… possible cultural values… I’m not sure I can give you my read any further. I think I’ll just leave it to what I’ve said.
Yeah, but she hasn’t. She has kept the ring all these past years. There was a very significant “drama incident” regarding the ring and I would assume the story is very “juicy” to the ladies but to me it was hurtful. Anyhow, I will wait and see how these next 6-months will turn out.
I am sorry that she appears to be using you @yinyang . I’m sure that this possibility is hurtful to you. I think you should discuss this with her directly and if it cant be resolved this way, you should use the legal system to at least get your damages back.
@SzSupportAdmin I appreciate your honest assessment of the situation. This factual realization means I need to self-correct myself in how I conduct myself with her. I will wait it out, patiently.
As for the story, just say she asked me to leave, I did and was hurt, I asked her to return the ring, she did, she wanted reconcile, I refused, I returned the ring (which I shouldn’t have done) and this is where it stands.
ah…thats a major part of the story we were missing and changes things a bit. Anyway, I think Ive said about all I can think of to contribute. I will leave you to your choices at this point. Good luck.
She didn’t steal it. You gave it to her. Engagement is a risk if done naively with an expensive ring. It costs $100 to take someone to small claims court in Canada usually. That’s your only avenue.