I got diagnosed in 1980 when I was 19. After my initial hospital stay I was put in a group home for schizophrenics called Soteria House. It was a world famous, experimental home where the founders rented an old house in the middle of a neighborhood and stuck 5 or 6 schizophrenics in there with counselors who had no psychiatric training but were hired for being open minded, tolerant, likable, understanding and personable. They sat with us and listened to what we had to say about our illness and what we were going through and didnât judge or label anyone as âcrazyâ. The founders didnât believe in medication and thought they could get as good results without it or hospitals. They called the whole thing ânormalizing the schizophrenia experienceâ.
You can google it or ask ChatGPT if youâre curious about it. Itâs a part of psychiatric history and I stayed there about a year and a half. I guess it helped some people but it didnât help me, I just got progressively worse during my stay there. I know Iâve told myself and others that I went through hell while I was there but like the title says, Iâm so far removed from that period in time and my memory that I canât even relate to what I went through there.
I remember sitting in an old chair in the backyard for months just fighting to keep my sanity and not go stark raving mad. My symptoms were intense and constant, not a minutes rest from them. Now my mind is slower which is a good thing and I donât have that pressure and agony going on in my head all the time.
It seemed like a lot happened at Soteria, it was constant crisesâs but when I drove past it years after I moved out I thought, âWhat was the big deal? Nothing really happened thereâ It was just getting up in the morning and hanging out in the kitchen talking or going for walks. But while I was there it was like a lot was happening. And it was the same for the subsequent 8 month hospitalization, I remember it was bad and I know I suffered but now my mind is nothing like that. It was so bad at the time that I couldnât work or do much of anything productive. Itâs weird thinking back on how bad off I was for that first 2 1/2 years and comparing it to now.