What symptoms of mental illness ?
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All the symptoms ..
Voices,disorganised thinking,strange beliefs,tactiles,but I didnāt pay much attention untill they flare up this month ā¦
Iām little burned out,but donāt know if I can return into safe condition.
There is also vulgar thoughs ,like I read Marques de Sade..
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for a long time when I was in my first marriage and into the first three years living with my partner..I believed there was a āspirit portalā beside my bed wherever I livedā¦it would travel with me. My current wife talked me out of itā¦
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In the past i would have very frequent delusions and hallucinations since teen years. Ive spent about 1 whole year of my life locked up in psych wards altogether.
But these days i am what they call āin remissionā. So i am basically well, and dont really have any psychotic symptoms. Thanks God! I have also gotten off the meds lately too. I pray that my good fortune remains. But if not, i am so happy to be able to have a period of clarity and good times before another fall into this illness.
Some of my main delusions were thinking i was not human. Like a vampire or some mythical creature. Half-angel or something.
Also i would feel like i was always on the cusp of finding out about some huge international conspiracy that i was central to.
People would say random normal things and i would assume what thei said was some kind of hint towards the truth of the conspiracy haha.
I had many other delusions and heard voices and saw things that werent real.
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I thought touching something while thinking bad thoughts would imprint the thoughts on the object.
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@AussieSchiz please consult with your pdoc immediately and get back on meds under his supervisionā¦why would you want to throw everything awayā¦do you have any pets? I hope not.
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I dont have a pdoc. And no pets. Why would you mention pets?
Im fine though?
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when I became deeply delusional I was cruel to my pets.
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Sorry that happened.
Honestly though i am going well. I have prn like quetiapine and stuff if i start to slip.
Beleive me i dont do this on a whim. Ive planned it carefully. Reduced my ap med slowly over time etc.
Im not anti-med or anything. Im not going to start advising people on here to do the same.
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how did you get your meds without a pdoc? at one time you had a pdoc? the odds are that you will become psychotic againā¦this time you might really dieā¦go back on the medsā¦I tried.
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Donāt start this on another personās thread.
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this is more important.
Thanks jukebox i really do apreciate your care and concern for me.
But i was discharged from the local community mental health place that has the psychiatrists and all that. They didnt want to waste money and resources on me anymore because im doing fine and hundreds of public pdocs quit recently in this state and theres barely any now. I was seeing pdocs fortnightly for like over 15 years. Then nothing. My gp writes repeats for my abilify.
I didnt want to stop receiving help. I went to reach out to them a couple of times and they sent me away. 
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well you sound stable enough I guessā¦please voluntarily commit yourself if you find out youāre maybe delusionalā¦that would help me sleep at night.
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Thanks. I will. 
Sorry of i derailed this thread.
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I did itā¦I just had to check on you.
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Its okay @AussieSchiz @jukebox its good to make sure
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Iām extremely uncomfortable with socialising at all because of intrusive thoughts. Ive fear of going out because of intrusive thoughts and panic attacks. I have accurate premonitions occasionally and this makes me believe im gifted. Im afraid of all the bad in the world and get thoughts im being watched in and out of my flat because i know too much. Im on Apās depot and see mh team for sz and bpd. I get suicidal and despair, hopelessness regularly lasting a few hours, seldom a few days
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I used to believe that when I died I would become an omniscient singularity that would bring peace to humanity. I also thought there were doctors talking thru the wall from the apartment next door. Those have all gone away with clozapineā¦
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if you have ācommandsā from your voices DO NOT do themā¦ignore these completelyā¦you are delusionalā¦not giftedā¦