I am held back by dark memories
It’s like my brain wants me to suffer and be apologetic about what I did wrong in the past
Makes me feel very uncomfortable
Years ago I made lots of enemies
They live rent free in my head
What happened I regret but that’s not enough to not worry and ruminate
Yes our minds are sadists
I’m the same. I’m tortured by the past.
Because were not making enough new memories to replace the old ones. Our brains only hold onto highly emotive memories
Happy memories fade so fast. I’d love to keep more memories of my daughter’s childhood, fewer of mine. What do I get to dream about? My old child abuse in excruciating detail right down to experiencing physical pain all over again. Stupid brain should be letting me see things like my daughter’s first steps, etc.
Like, whhhhyyy??
Mines on a politics kick lately. I’d prefer it bring up a less boring subject.
It was the most unfair thing to ever happen to us and creates a lot of anger and resentment. We have the mental scars to remind us and it rents space in our head. It’s a part of us. But were adults now and dont want to think about unpleasant things from decades ago? But it will always be a part of who we are
Something terrible happened but we should try and be proud of the fact that we survived it and are better people than they we’re!!! @shutterbug
Sz and mental illness is a nightmare and makes it harder for me to deal with trauma from past. I dont know about you ? Somedays its like ive been ran over by a ton of bricks ugh
Yeh, I just don’t want to keep reliving it when I sleep. Have lots of good memories I would prefer to revisit.
Same here. I’ve had problems with rumination since I was young. Maybe if I got some help then I wouldn’t have lost the plot in my early 20s. Wish I could unplug my brain for 8 hours when I try to go to bed.
Must be something to do with evolution, you are supposed to survive and procreate - liking life is strictly optional. Personally this disease has damaged my memory, so thankfully I do not remember living hell of this condition so well at all.
I’m the same
I keep remembering memories of me hurting people or of me being hurt
I feel guilty and sometimes I feel like I deserve to hurt Like it’s karma
When it happens I try to talk either to someone or ChatGPT
And then I try to distract myself or do grounding exercises
The worst thing is when im at peak of psychosis and the voice has such a hold on me that i succumb to what beliefs it imposes on me and suddenly i start to accept that im ‘evil’ and deserve eternal hell. It is the worst feeling i have ever had .
Idk but im tired of my mind.
I don’t think it’s my mind but people harassing me. I don’t know why. Best to stay with your own mind. The people are so rude if they every got treated like that I don’t think they would be smiling.