My brain is going through lots of memories
It’s really ■■■■■■■ me up and I need to stop but I can’t
There was a time where I was an awful person
Would like to think I am passed that now
But the good can’t cancel out the bad
My mind is wasting so much energy on this that have happened that I can’t change
That sucks your ruminating on the past so much. It cant be changed. We can only make changes now and in future. I get it. Its hard not to dwell. I go through periods where I cringe at my past actions so heavily. Ive done some bad stuff. I think if we are honest with ourselves we all have really.
Try not to beat yourself up too much! Doesn’t help you or anyone else i believe.
I understand you @Joker
I did a lot of bad things to a lot of people in my past as well but I also understand that for the longest time I was under the influence of a sick mind.
Now that I am properly medicated I am a totally different person
I am sure that it’s the same for you @Joker
We can’t allow ourselves to be haunted by the past
being pre sz can make a person make bad decisions, I know…I was kind of a jerk before I finally became prodromal…don’t hold yourself down with the past…you can change and be a good person now.
sorry to hear that and i hear you; i feel like that too sometimes. i try to tell myself that if i cant forgive myself the net result is worst than if i forgive myself. easier said than done in some respects… but i try that ppl should have the ability to move on at some point but it is really difficult i know. i just try to focus on good things that is all we can do, as much as i can. albert einstein said that a person who never made mistakes never tried anything new,btw did u know it is einsteins bday today? stephen hawkins death? and pi day
(@sweetpotatopie :p)
I’m sorry you feel like that
I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive yourself
People change I was in a gang as a kid. I grew up and worked in healthcare. I’ve helped thousands of people. We all figure things out as we go. A lot of bad role models out there. We’re all born confused in the pursuit of power. Making mistakes is a part of learning.
I hear you man. My brain does that some.times lol. I think it’s depression seeing the negative side of everything
intrusive thoughts maybe. i have them. theyre shitty and pointless
Forgive yourself man, you’ve been nothing but kind to us on the forum imo. It makes a difference to have you here; you’re someone I really admire and try my hardest to persevere because of
I really like you too and your cool 
I was a drug addict there was nothing good about me so I really relate.
Turn that obsessive thought into thinking about a happy memory. Ruminate on that instead. Write down any happy memory you can think of. Read them out loud to yourself. Hope this helps.