I was an absolute ■■■■■■■ growing up
It stays with me everyday
This is despite being a different person
But I guess I still am in this body and reality
Do you think it’s possible to forgive the bad things you did to the people you care about most?
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Why do you think you did it? Motivation has a lot to do with evaluating an act
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It could be self driven arrogance, I treated people badly because I thought I was better than people. I thought I was perfect eventually realising it was a coping mechanism for how flawed I was
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yeah people do dumd things en grow up, its a part of life. everyone carries guilt and regret
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I was on drugs and hanging out with the wrong people
Struggle to still separate that part from the rest even though it has been a long time
Tend to punish myself mentally
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That’s what you did. That doesn’t explain your motivation
I don’t understand what you mean
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If you don’t even know why you did it I would let it go.
It’s a past self.
Look to the future
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Kicking yourself for doing something years ago that a lot of people never learn to stop doing is really unforgiving to yourself. We’ve all done stupid social things. In fact, the decision to be social in the first place is probably the first stupid decision that dominoes.
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I can’t really stop thinking about it because I get a lot of intrusive thoughts
My brain wants me to be miserable
But I feel like I should feel punished for all the bad things I have done
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Consciously put 10 minutes a day aside for directly confronting the contents of the intrusive thoughts… think everything you can think about them… that’s the first thing to try: the ironic cognitive rule of intrusives.
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Sometimes people can be very open hearted and easily forgive the sins of others against them, even really bad things. But when it comes to the self most people are much harder on themselves than anyone else. @
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there are things that bug me too…namely when I was ill I treated my dogs badly…I thought one of them had a demon in him. I didn’t hurt him, but I ignored him when he needed love…just something I struggle with…it wasn’t my fault but I get you…it bugs me.
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I do not know how to forgive myself either; if I do that is where unusual beliefs kick in to compensate for the damage I did to me and others
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For long time I do not doing nothing. Only sleeping and waiting to pass the day. I don’t have patient to work. But I’m trying to find job. Its difficult.
So on other hand I life 12 years without on and off psihosys
Only this 2 mounts I’m tranquil and almost with voice in my head. But those 12 years I make very bad things so no one wants to say to me good day. To not saying everything more.
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I try to think that doing stupid s h it is part of nature, however so is learning, where possible that is!
sorry to hear that … sounds very sad
Its ok somehow I’m fine still. But the past is hurting me
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Having schizophrenia is punishment enough. You don’t need to punish yourself more.
Plus you seem to try to be a better person now so you have more years of being a good person then you had being bad person so the good should outweigh the bad.
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