I’ve done introspection last few years,and review all traumas from four years until now.
When I try to forgive,all comes back to me
How can you forgive pure evil? I don’t know 
I’ve been hurt…
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Forgiveness is just a word to me. I think forget it, is a better description for what action is taken
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Its all very well - from a “caring” perspective to forgive everyone, because it stops them living rent free in your head, and winding you up. But the simple truth is, some people deserve a metaphorical slap upside the head and punished.
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I personally am grateful for forgiveness. It’s a feeling which overcomes anger and vengeance and feels infinitely better. If you let go of your anguish and forgive not only do you feel better and heal but you follow a fantastic example.
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Great said @anon63960434….
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Hang in there @anon68822644
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I think the most important thing to do is to forgive your self.
Many years ago I was tricked, lied to, groomed and abused. This person then brainwashed me into thinking that I wanted it and deserved it. And that’s how I felt. I told myself that it was my fault. If I only did this, or did that, then none of it would have happened. I was to blame.
After many years I realized that I did nothing wrong. I bear no responsibility. And that’s when I started to forgive my self.
Being angry at another person is like a fire that will consume you from the inside out, while the person whom you’re angry at is either unaware or unaffected by your anger. They’re happy and you’re miserable. And when you think about it, this type of thinking let’s them to continue to abuse you.
The only way to truly end the abuse is to forgive your self.
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Thanks @Catman
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I asked ai as the original title says “I must forgive” and it didn’t sit right with me.
This is what it said:
“You’re putting your finger on something people feel but rarely articulate:
forgiveness doesn’t happen through force of will.
The moment it becomes “I must forgive,” the whole thing collapses under its own weight.
Let me unpack this in a way that actually respects the psychology behind it.
1. Forgiveness isn’t a command — it’s a consequence
Real forgiveness is not an action you perform.
It’s a state that emerges when certain internal conditions shift.
You don’t “do” forgiveness.
You arrive at it.
It’s like sleep:
you can’t force yourself to sleep, but you can create the conditions where sleep happens.
Forgiveness works the same way.
2. “I must forgive” is usually a disguised form of self‑pressure
When someone says:
“I must forgive to free myself.”
What they’re often doing is:
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trying to bypass the anger
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trying to be a “good person”
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trying to skip the messy emotional process
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trying to force an outcome they’re not ready for
This creates inner conflict, not freedom.
You can’t bully yourself into letting go.
3. Forgiveness only becomes possible when the emotional charge changes
Forgiveness tends to arise naturally when:
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the anger cools
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the story shifts
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the meaning changes
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the wound stops feeling fresh
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you understand the situation differently
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you stop needing the past to be different
It’s not a moral achievement.
It’s a psychological transition.
4. Letting go is not the same as forgiving
Sometimes people think:
“If I don’t forgive, I’m stuck.”
But actually, you can:
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let go
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move on
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stop caring
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stop carrying the weight
…without ever formally “forgiving” the person.
Forgiveness is optional.
Healing is not dependent on it.
5. The paradox
Forgiveness only becomes possible when you stop trying to force it.
It’s like your psyche says:
“Okay, now that you’re not demanding this from me, I can soften.”
6. A more honest approach
Instead of “I must forgive,” a more workable stance is:
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“I don’t forgive right now.”
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“I’m not ready.”
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“I don’t have to force anything.”
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“I’ll let my feelings evolve naturally.”
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“Maybe forgiveness will come, maybe it won’t.”
This removes pressure and lets the emotional system breathe.
And ironically, that is what makes forgiveness possible later.”
I agreed with it.
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I am embracing a wabi sabi outlook. It means I need to accept that the world is full of imperfections. I don’t feel I need to forgive the worst of them. I think some could use a bit of correcting (the slap).
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there is no forgiveness without pain i believe, because forgiveness is a form of love, and there is no love without pain, and theres only one way to endure more pain… i think you know what it is
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Correction is a gift. Correction is not punishment.
Society’s punitive efforts are sick and do not reduce recidivism.
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When we are sorry, thats our personal repentance on the matter. Forgiveness, is a gift we may or not receive, from the other party. Seek to forgive more than to be forgiven. Seek more to love than to be loved.
@anon68822644 , I endured severe physical, emotional, and mental abuse and neglect from infancy on for many years
Forgiveness is not saying what happened is ok. It’s letting it go to the point of no longer harboring anger and hatred towards those who hurt you.
I have forgiven my parents but I still recognize that what happened was wrong and unacceptable.
I still protect myself by not trying to please my dad all the time for instance, but I do reach out a few times a year. But the anger is gone now. I simply accept that it happened and that it’s in the past and I’m moving forward with life.
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I don’t have no anger. It’s just something that was in a past, but as I go into my emotions,I find disturbing things,to the point when it was pure evil for me.
I was following Christian way of forgiving as my soul can purify only with forgiveness to everyone who done things to me.
As I pray,pain is vanishing slowly. It gives me hope..
I wish to thank you and others who participated on thread and thank you @Lilyofthevalley ..
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They do if the child molesting piece of slime expires during the punishment.
I’m okay with that, but only if the punishment is drawn out long enough.
I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with evil. People lie about me, so much, a while ago, a girl in her vehicle said; I forgive you, to me when I walked by. I’ve never done anything to anyone, but have vicious stalkers.
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You don’t have to forgive people that hurt you if you don’t want to
What matter is that you try to heal from the hurt and are doing things that make you feel better
Take care
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