Worried. 151515151

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I’ve been with this treatment team only 6 months now. They moved me cos my old CMHT no longer came under my catchment area.

It seems like this new nurse is hell bent on making life worse for me.

Things have slowly declined since I moved treatment teams.

I mean there were times in the last 12 years when I was under my old CMHT that yes I should have been in hospital. But they never did that and I appreciate it.

This new nurse is like a ■■■■■■■ hitler. On a power trip.

I don’t think she has my best interests at heart. I don’t want to ask for another nurse because I don’t trust any of them.

They are asking a lot of questions and I feel backed into corners sometimes. Like I can’t lie. I’m being honest as usual. I don’t want to say I’m taking medication when I’m not. But when I say that they bring up the idea of hospital.

The less I see of them the better. The less I see of them the less all this ■■■■ like them being actors plays on my mind. The won’t discharge me. And they won’t change my depot to pills.

She asked me yesterday would I have my depot in 2 weeks. I was honest and I said it depends. It’s a 50/50 at the moment. And I don’t even want to think about it cause it’s 2 weeks away.

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Here’s the thing. They don’t know you. Also they are concerned especially because you have little kids. Mental health is always that way because I have children. The less you cooperate the more they will intrude and fight with you. There will come a point when you have to decide what is more important. My advice is that you compromise in some way with them, otherwise they won’t leave you alone.

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I get paid next week. And I’m seriously considering getting a train far away and a hotel.

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I think I can compromise. It’s whether they do.

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That would start a legal battle. You may end up forced treatment and that wouldn’t be good for you. Do you have a friend you trust you can talk to? Not your mom. Someone impartial to the situation. Fighting them will not give you complete peace and calm. Running away won’t either. Have hope. You need to have hope.

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Perhaps we can compromise. If they can switch me to pills I wouldn’t have to see them. And I’d probably take them

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Good. Make a list of things you are willing to do. Give them the list. Tell them it’s called compromise.

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Ty @sweetpotatopie

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I was so untrusting to my pdoc and case manager years ago that I reported my pdoc to the medical board and tried to get him fired. I thought he was trying to kill me.

I agree with @sweetpotatopie Very wise words

Best wishes @Qwerty Hang in there.

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You got this, lady. Remember you are caring for yourself, and self care is so important to do when others rely on us to live. :heart:

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I find pills are so much better than the depot.

Depot freaks me out too.

Are you on aripiprazole?

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Yes @zoe. I’m on aripiprazole. Been on it about 6 years.

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Hey @Qwerty early start again?

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Very early start @Jimbob how r u.

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Am good thanks. Do you ever play music these days?

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No @Jimbob I lost my career in music when I was 30 due to a hospital admission. I’ve never gone back.

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I was never at your level

But when I got ill I just stopped playing music. Tbh I don’t mind - I was never that good. But can see it must be horrible for some

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Playing music now brings back too many memories of loss and regrets for me. So I tend to avoid. I still listen to music though.

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I totally understand. I listen to loads of music too. I use Apple Music

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I’ve walked in and out some very prestigious music colleges here in the Uk and studied there. It was a high achieving time in my life.

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