My toes were only getting worse. The ingrown toenails were a sore thing to look at. Very painful shoved into snow boots all the time. One particular Sunday we were walking home from church. Snow and ice on the road. Wincing in pain with every step I limped along. When we finally got back to the lodge I took off my boots and noticed blood lining my white socks. I took a deep breath and walked up to Tammy.
“Can I please put in a request to see a doctor, this is unbearable.” I said, pointing to my blood soaked socks.
“Okay I will put in the request for you, and go change those socks that’s disgusting it’s going to get all over the floor” She said looking disgusted
I did as I was told, noticing there was puss mixed with the blood when I changed my socks. I had to hobble around because it hurt too bad to put full weight on them.
Monday came around and Anglea came to talk to me.
“What’s this about a doctor’s request?” She asked sternly.
I pointed to my feet.
“Both of my feet have ingrown toenails on my big toe. It’s super painful.” I said pulling off a sock to show her what I was talking about.
“Ugh that’s gross. You’re ruining your socks, why don’t you wear your shower shoes instead of getting so many socks dirty?” Angela said
“I’ll get a doctor’s request in, but it’ll probably be a few weeks.” Angela walked back into the office and shut the door behind her.
True to her word, Angela did make an appointment for me to see a podiatrist. It was two weeks till I finally got seen.
On a Friday morning, Tammy drove me to the doctor’s office. I got the operation on both toes, getting 6 shots all around my toe. I squeezed Tammy’s hand while I winced at the pain of the needles.
“Do you want to watch?” The doctor said with a chuckle
I vigorously shook my head and looked away while they operated on my toes.
When they were done they bandaged up each toe in gauze and let me put my sandals on again. Still being winter it was shocking to walk outside to the car in sandals, walking through ice and snow.
The doctor gave us instructions on how to care for my feet and said I was not to put socks and real shoes back on for at least 5-10 days. I was supposed to soak my feet in a solution twice a day and change the gauze out each time.
Saturday came around, and after morning meds Polly gave me the basin with the solution to soak my feet. She helped me bandage back up my toes. They were super painful but I knew better than to ask for pain meds.
Sunday morning came around, we had all just cleaned up from breakfast and were getting ready to go get onto the bus to head to church. I had my sandals on with my toes wrapped. I walked outside and stood by the bus. Chris came out of the office door and gave the okay to load onto the bus, but she stopped me.
“Hanna, you need to put on your boots.” She said in an uncaring tone
“I’m not supposed to put on real shoes yet.” I said shocked
“Do I need to tell you again? Do you want a consequence?” She said sternly.
My heart sank. I rushed back inside to get socks on and then my boots. I winced at the pain of crowding my toes back into my snow boots. Nevertheless I was not going to defy Chris, She was not one to be crossed. I limped out of the door and loaded onto the bus.
When church service was over I was scared to confront Chris about not walking home, but I decided to take the chance.
“Chris, I’m not supposed to really be on my feet this soon, and especially not in real shoes” I said timidly
“And what’s your point?” She said not even looking at me.
“Can I go on the bus for the ride home?” I asked immediately regretting my question
“No. And if you ask me again I will write you a consequence for manipulating staff to get out of exercise.” Her tone was harsh, but final.
I sucked it up and began the 5 mile walk home with the rest of the girls. I shuffled along the road, trying to fight back tears of frustration and of pain.
When we finally got home I took off my boots and socks and found a bloody mess. I was terrified of confronting Chris again to ask to soak my feet and get fresh gauze. I decided to wait until shift change and soak my feet after dinner.
The next morning I woke up flushed. I was shaky and freezing. I had to get out of bed but I didn’t want to be in the cold. I rushed to get dressed, I could tell I was running a temperature. Tammy was working this morning and I took a chance to ask her if she could take my temperature. School policy was if anyone had a fever of 101 or higher they can go to the sick bed area.
“Tammy?” I spoke walking up to her as she was in the nurses room.
“What’s up Hanna?” She said, busy getting medications ready.
“Can you please take my temperature? I am freezing.” I pleaded with her
“Not right now, when I call you for meds, remind me.” She said still busy filling med cups.
I ate breakfast with the rest of the girls then lined up for meds once things were cleaned up.
Finally she called me to the window.
“Remember…” I started to say but Tammy cut me off
“Yes I remember, here turn your ear to me” She said as she took out an ear thermometer
“Oh dear.” She said, I saw for the first time she looked concerned.
“You’re at 102.3. Get your things and move down to sick bed.”
Relieved, I gathered up my journal and water bottle and my book and headed downstairs to the sick bed area. I picked the most private sick bed to choose from and got under the covers. I was freezing but I didn’t have the energy to get up to go get more blankets. It was then that I realized I still needed to soak my feet and rebandage my toes. I could hear the other girls moving downstairs to head out the back door to the exercise room across the parking lot.
“Hey!” I said as I saw a glimpse of Kristin.
“What’s wrong? Why are you in sick bed?” She said walking over and around the room divider
“I need you to get Tammy for me, oh and another blanket if you can?” I pleaded
Kristin nodded and headed on my mission.
To my upmost thanks, Tammy came down shortly after bringing me another blanket and she had the basin and solution for my feet.
I carefully unwrapped my toes, noticing a fresh supply of puss. Disgusted I plunged my feet into the warm water and dabbed at the puss with the gauze. Once that was done I dried off my feet and wrapped them up with gauze again.
“Try and get some rest, we’ll bring down your lunch later.” Tammy said in a caring tone I had never heard from her before.
I got back in bed and under the covers, thankful for the extra blanket. Yet I still shivered. I fell into a feverish sleep.
When I awoke it was to Christina bringing me a bowl of ramen and some juice. I ate part of what she brought me and left the rest on the tray falling back into an uneasy sleep.
I didn’t wake again until around 8pm when Polly brought down my meds. I saw an untouched dinner tray, I must have slept through that. But it didn’t matter I had no appetite.
Polly handed me my meds and some water. I took them and handed the cups back to her.
“Let me check your temperature” She said, taking the thermometer and inserting it in my ear.
“Mmmm” She said looking concerned.
“What is it?” I asked
“103.5” She said
“Thats… like bad, bad isn’t it?” I said trying to get back under the covers to get the warmth
“No, you’ll be fine. I’ll take your tray if you’re not going to touch it” She said, that look of concern completely wiped from her face.
I settled back under my multiple covers, still shivering, and fell back asleep.
The next morning I knew something was wrong, seriously wrong. I had intense pain in my feet, I had a splitting headache. I was still freezing and I was starting to see little floating lights everywhere I looked.
Chris was back on duty and she came downstairs with my morning meds.
She asked me no questions, just handed me my meds.
“Can you take my temperature again?” I asked feebly
Chris had brought the thermometer down with her. With a sigh she got the reading.
“And?” I asked starting to really worry.
“You’ll be fine, you just need more rest.” She said as she started to walk away.
“Chris. I feel really sick. What was the reading?” I asked desperate for some kind of help
“104.7” She said without glancing back, she disappeared around the corner.
104.7? I didn’t know much about medical care, but to me that was bad. Really bad. And no one was doing anything to help.
