I laid in that bunk, feeling the top bed was too close to me. How was I supposed to survive in this environment? This extremely foreign environment. So many rules, so strict on the consequences. I told myself not to cry, I would not be caught crying on my first night. I shut my eyes, willing myself to sleep.
A loud alarm sounded overhead, startled out of an uneasy sleep. I sat up and hit my head on the top bunk.
“Ouch!” I exclaimed. Bending lower to sit on the side of the bunk, my eyes adjusted to the sudden fluorescent lights being turned on.
“Hanna come on, your shower time is right now in the downstairs bathroom” Mary called over to me.
I stood up and stretched, I could tell I hadn’t slept well that night. I started to walk out of the room when Mary stopped me.
“Oh you need to make your bed before you leave the room. You’lll get a consequence if you don’t” She said to me as she was making her own bed.
I carefully straightened my sheets and blankets, tucking the blanket under the mattress and positioning my pillow exactly like Mary had fixed hers.
“Is that good enough?” I asked turning to her
“Yeah that’s perfect, now go get your shower stuff.” She said walking out of the room.
I quickly walked into the communal closet and got the plastic bin my shampoo and soap was in and grabbed my towel and my uniform.
Mary came up to me “So you have 20 minutes of time in the bathroom, but your shower can’t take longer than 10 minutes. You’re assigned the downstairs shower. Do you normally use a hair dryer?” She asked
I shook my head. I never used a hair dryer, I wasn’t that into my appearance that I felt the need to do my hair every day. I preferred just a simple french braid. Classic, simple, neat.
I headed downstairs into the daylight basement and entered the bathroom. There was a shower stall and changing area separated by curtains. I stifled a yawn looking at my watch and seeing it was 6:05am. I showered as quickly as I could, really missing my conditioner.
Once I got dressed, I fought to brush my hair. I made a mental note to ask for some detangler or that 2 in 1 shampoo next chance that I got. I managed to braid my hair before heading back upstairs.
When I emerged downstairs I was pulled aside by Tammy, one of the house staff.
“Hey Hanna we need to get your weight.” She said steering me towards the nurses room.
My gut clenched. I hated seeing the number on the scale. I was overweight for my height and I knew it. It was rather embarrassing, but I wasn’t surprised they were going to get my weight.
I stepped onto the digital scale and saw the number. My heart sank. It read 211.
211? My god I was so overweight. Tammy wrote down the number.
“Okay thanks Hanna. We will further discuss your meal plan from here on out. I’ll let you know what is decided by lunch time, alright?”
My heart pounded in my ears. My meal plan. I tried to shove it out of my mind, I walked back over to the dining area to find Mary.
After breakfast, all the girls seemed to know the routine. Clean up the dishes and tables then sweep the entire area and finish by mopping. Once that had been completed, girls lined up for meds.
When it was my turn for meds, Tammy handed me a paper cup with my pills in it. One of them looked different than it had at home.
“What’s this orange half pill?” I asked her
“Abilify,” she said impatiently.
I took the pills, shoving the thought out of my head.
“What’s next?” I asked Mary.
“We are going to go down and do school work for an hour and then we will get changed and go out to the exercise room and workout for an hour.” She said, leading me downstairs.
My school transcripts had not come in yet, so I was stuck just reading books again during school time. I was engrossed in the book I picked out yesterday. True to Mary’s word, an hour after coming downstairs to do school, everyone got up and went upstairs to change into workout clothes.
I went into the long closet and pulled out a maroon workout shirt and a pair of grey knee length shorts. I changed quickly, suddenly aware of how many girls there were that could see me.
We all filed out the door in the daylight basement and made our way across the parking lot to a building that was detached from the main lodge. Inside was a large room with wide windows. A large TV was on one wall. There was a handful of exercise equipment. A spin bike, two treadmills, a small rack of different weighted dumbbells. There was a handful of yoga mats rolled up in one corner.
“Alright ladies, you know the drill.” Tammy loudly said
Mary hurried over to me
“You just have to be moving someway or another for the next hour. We normally put on a workout video for those who want it.” Mary said to me walking over to a shelf with workout dvd’s on it.
“Zumba anyone?” Mary said
A handful of girls murmured in agreement.
Once the hour was up we all walked back into the lodge and changed into our uniforms again. I was slightly disgusted that we weren’t allowed to shower, I noticed many girls use washcloths to clean themselves.
Once we were back in the classroom in the daylight basement, Tammy came down to find me.
“Hanna come with me, Angela and I want to speak to you.” She said in a casual way.
My heart raced. I knew I hadn’t done anything to get into trouble yet. Right? My mind ran through all the possibilities of why Angela needed to speak to me with Tammy.
We went up to the nurses room where the door was ajar. Anglea was sitting on a chair inside the room
“Ahh Hanna. How was your first night here?” Angela asked me
“Oh it was fine.” I said, my mind still racing.
“Okay good. Well, we just wanted to talk to you regarding your meal plan.” Angela explained
“Yeah I know I’m overweight.” I said in a small voice, staring at the floor.
“Well we’d like to help you get healthier and drop some weight. We are going to be offering you an alternative dinner. You are free to eat normally at breakfast and lunch. However you cannot have dessert after dinner and no candy on Saturday movie nights. For snack time you can have fruit. None of the prepackaged snacks. Alright?” She said smiling at me
I felt my face go red.
“Yes, that’s fair.” I said, just wanting to get out of that room.
Tammy motioned for me to head back down to the classroom and she closed the nurses room door behind me. I wondered what I was going to be offered for dinner, I knew why they made that decision but it still was embarrassing having to be told I had to be put on a diet separate from the other girls.
