I feel really down, so heavy, feel like I’m trapped in my skin, my body weighing me down. I feel restless and dead at the same time. I want to get out of my body and pace… sleep till I die…I feel…like I don’t know what to do with my body. should I smile? should I talk? should I cry? should I pace? should I …I don’t know. all I know is I feel down and don’t know why.
it’s been coming on and off since beginning of March but this month a little more. on and off but there. the radio in my head ever present. Sometimes I feel lighter but the heaviness always comes back.
Like gravity.
Like the title of my book - schizoentropia