Trying to name the beastly feeling

I don’t think it’s depression it’s more avolition. It’s not as much a heavy sadness as much as a heavy deadness. Whatever it is it’s beastly. I was going to walk today to library, weather was perfect but as I left the house I turned back home, sat down and cried. Feel rotten and useless. I don’t know if I’m relapsing, maybe I brought this on myself with my missing my illness the other day…:pensive_face: Avolition and depression.

I’m so dead.

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I’m so sorry. I hope that you find relief