How are you causing harm ? Like i have thoughts im influencing people and events sometimes but its because my thoughts are stolen from me
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My intrusive thoughts make me a danger to others. I dont want it but i cant control the thoughts. I feel awful about it. It effects my relationship with my husband a lot and sometimes we get into big fights because im delusional.
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Thats no good. Have you ever acted them out the harm thoughts or are you just getting them?
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I was afraid of myself due to intrusive thoughts years ago. Eventually I learned that people with intrusive thoughts are less likely to commit violent acts or crimes. At the time it doesn’t feel like it.
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You dont have to say anything if you dont want
I would suggest you cheer yourself up
You like dressing up glam, you could do makeup and nails and feel better!
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I have never wanted to act on my thoughts so i know its ocd but i just cant talk myself out of it sometimes
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Thats a bit of a problem have you told the pdoc what did they say?
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Were trying to find the right combo of meds but i probably need therapy for it
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Dbt book might help manage your emotional regulation and bad thoughts?
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There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you as a person. We all are broken people but we’re all creatures made beautiful
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Susan Forwards did two books about toxic parents,one talking about both parents and one focused about moms, it could be interesting to understand better
There’s the book Trauma and recovery by Judith Hermans that talk about the history of people view about trauma and that give ideas to help to recover (it can be triggering because it talks about horrible things)
What I remember of the book is that helping and fighting for the rights of other people that live the same thing helps(like joining an association that help victims,manifest when there’s a polemic in the news about that), victims recover better if they are active in their recovery, it can be good to have a place to talk about that with people that lived the same thing
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My husband can relate to a lot of my childhood and issues it caused but i havent met anyone that can relate to the amount of violence i witnessed
Maybe you could look online or ask to your therapist if there’s a support group with people that lived the same thing
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I’m glad that your husband can relate, for that can make you feel safe and calm.
I don’t know about you, but many people who have experienced childhood violence are sort of stuck in survival mode. Yes, there’s often shame and guilt, but I think that will manifest in the body. Consequently, people are on high alert and can’t tell the difference between safety and danger, and can only see danger.
Thus it may be more helpful to focus on what your body is telling you than what your mind is telling you. For example, being in the fight/flight/freeze response can result in digestive issues among many other physical issues.
Have you ever sat in a rocking chair? The rocking motion tends to calm the body down. Also, having a pet can calm the body.
I think talk therapy is limited in how much it can help a person who has experienced childhood violence–it may even re-traumatize you. Instead I would focus on what your body is telling you.
I hope you feel better soon.
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