Story of my life. I was thinking back to 1990-95 and I was living in a group home with 12 other guys. I really wasn’t part of anything there. For one thing I had just gotten clean and sober and almost everybody else was doing drugs or drinking so I wasn’t part of them because of that. Plus I was working and going to college and that set me apart and I was really involved with AA, CA and NA. There were a few other guys who weren’t part of the main clique but they were loners.
I was just sitting here right now feeling sorry for myself and feeling disrespected, I can’t get the guy above me to stop invading my space no matter what I do. I remember back to the group home and I remember I wasn’t part of that group. The owners had a VCR in the living room and they had a cabinet filled with all the coolest videos: Movies like Lethal Weapon and Predator and the Terminator movies, Heartbreak Ridge with Clint Eastwood, Steven Seagal videos, Claude Van Damm, just a bunch of cool movies and he had Top Gun with Tom Cruise. I saw that movie for the first time while I was there and I loved it and watched it over and over again.
So the owner saw what was going on between me and the other guys and how they cut me out and he started calling me his “Top Gun”. Whenever we were all sitting in the living room or sitting outside and he happened to walk by he would say, "Here’s my Top Gun. Or, “How’s my Top Gun doing?”, comments like that. I think he actually respected me. It’s been so long since I’ve been respected I’m forgetting what it’s like. This world is eating me alive and it’s disheartening. It’s my fault, just complaining.
