mental illness is taboo in general… add the fact im south asian (Indian)… my relatives see im out of work and think my mental illness is an excuse… I was trying really hard to look for a job but I wasn’t doing enough because I was out of work more than 2 years. I am never enough and im never doing enough. my uncle who has cancer knows I have issues , yet has to point out “you haven’t worked in 2 years are you even getting interviews” I didn’t say anything because he was in hospital and I don’t like confrontation.. I found a job but it’s a temporary measure until I find something more suitable because it’s only a couple of times a month.
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I’m also south asian, extended family outside of my parents siblings all isolated our family. now we just have contact to some degree between my father and his siblings, and mother and her siblings and then us - the family itself.
I find they prefer the mystic versions of MH explanations and shy away. It’s quite sad
Edit - don’t force yourself to work to meet other expectations, force them to understand the illness or back away and stick to those who truly care for you imo. Amongst my family i know they express fake sympathies and pass huge judgement on me; so I can relate a little
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I can only begin to imagine what this must be like. I remember when I worked in a specific hospital, with the population/demographic being predominantly Bengali - the stigma and cultural attitudes were shocking towards ill family members. Not all of them, of course, but many of them.
In reflection, our British culture here has a huge divide, doesn’t it? People who are totally sympathetic and then those who are totally unsympathetic. With perhaps a 60/40 ratio in favour of sympathetic. What was it like 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years ago? Probably horrendous.
Our best starting place is our immediate family, our close friends, then our wider family and associates. Ive found those closest to be most sympathetic (even if it took a while) whilst those furthest tend to be the least.
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I started to distance myself from them and feel much better about it. but it still bothers me somewhat…
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Yeah, takes time. I hadn’t seen part of my family for something like 8 years at one point. It just makes sense to go it solo (in my case)
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Many Bengali families have had a hugely terrible integration issue; they use outdated education (from back in the village) to justify their world view. It’s tragic. I’m Bengali; so i know first hand how bad it can get; like you say - not all; but a significant minority do. Especially in the city hotspots in places like Tower Hamlets in London
Edit: many never got past primary education and that’s why th issue arises imo. But even medical doctors can be frauds or badly educated to the point their attitude to MH is abysmal
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My family thinks it’s an excuse tooooo
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Yep this is it. I met many who were “outdated” as you say, but then some who were deeply concerned for their family member. Lovely people either way, it’s just cultural differences. And I enjoyed working alongside some of the most compassionate fun guys and most beautiful ladies. An honourary Mus, some would call me 
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In my own experiences @Ish I had little to no support from my family other than my children and my brother. It took my wife a while to come round, as much as I love her and we support eachother in other avenues of life.
Her family particularly came down hard on her because Ive not worked for some time now. It was used as a dig, even when she said “Yeah, he is sick. The Doctors have said he cannot work”. But then again, they had little interest/positive in me even when I was working and “doing everything right”. So this is more a reflection of their outlooks and attitudes, rather than about what Im doing or not doing.
The last year, they have changed a lot. More sympathetic and more welcoming. The mind boggles when you consider me and the wife have been an item for almost 25 years.
But they seem to acknowledge nower days that being a hardworking house-husband (who takes no wage and lives simply) is ok too. After all, my mother inlaw (of blessed memory) was a stay at home Mum for 40 years. And she certainly took a wage from the old man and was at the helm of their family.
Families ah….
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My culture (Canadian) has a lot of stigma around SZ and some around bi-polar. ADHD and Autism are somehow becoming fashionable to have with lots of people who are self-diagnosed running around showing off their label to others.
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Yeah the self-diagnosis of autism is getting out of control. I have ADHD I was told so in third grade. I wonder what ADHD really is though
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I agree with this … I went to a family doctor (Indian) once telling him about mental health issues… he put it down to shyness and I was basically wasting his time. Years later I had psychosis but feel if I was listened to earlier and taken more seriously, it could have been prevented.
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I’m sorry I know how hard that is. People don’t get it unless they’ve been through it. When I went to hospital one of my relatives (I don’t know how probably my aunt and uncle) wrote a letter to the hospital telling them not to section me because it will impact my relationship and career. My partner saw that letter and was angry at whoever wrote it because and they even thought he’d leave me for being sectioned for my own health and safety.
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Probably TikTok and instagram…. but I wish I had gotten my diagnosis early on… I may have gotten the help I needed at school… my family have no clue what autism and adhd even mean. my mum did not know what psychosis until she experienced it through me.
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Sorry to hear this Ish, it’s not their fault necessarily but it does need to improve. I wish you could have gotten the help earlier. I often think it made no difference to me, but it made me seek social skills programmes and proactive at the time for fear of being without employment. Years later, psychosis happened but I still think learning about myself and analysing myself at a younger age helped me.
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Some things on TV in France are picturing schizophrenics like murderers, violent
But I also know an emission and a known youtuber that says benevolent things about schizophrenia
So I would say, it’s stigmatized but people that are benevolent towards mental health issues are probably mostly benevolent with schizophrenics (even tho a known youtuber with DID said bad things about people with psychotic disorders)
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When I was training and did a placement with Psych Liaison at a particular hospital’s A&E… an elderly gentleman brought his wife in for mental health assessment because she was refusing to make tea for him. She was clearly going mad.
Interestingly, Ive heard similar things re: family and not wanting sections. We had angry uncles and parents SCREAMING at us to let their family member go free and to remove the Section 2/3 at once - baring in mind I was just a nurse. And it was because it would hinder their chances of finding a spouse, would be viewed poorly by religious and local community, and would stop them advancing in life. Again, some, not all. Im sorry @Ish it sounds like you’ve been quite through it. The best consolation is that you have a partner who has your back. Sometimes, the bare basics is the most.
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I feel enough shame without others adding to it.
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In America kids use schizo as an edgy joke term to mean crazy or multiple personalities. News stations usually only bring it up when one of us kills someone. At least that’s how it’s been for awhile now. Still waiting for someone important to get it so people will decide to care. If Taylor Swift had it the whole country would care all of the sudden. Parasocial relationships are a very very powerful thing.
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I think you’re doing plenty. I don’t think there would be so much mental illness, if there weren’t so much deliberate interference that makes it practically impossible to accomplish anything.
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