The harshness of it all is coming back. Please make it stop

Creativity
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They said if I hurt enough,

I could be changed for good.

Take this pill, they said.

Look. Watch.

Wait for the purification you’ll feel.

Permanent change—

perfectly fixed

into the image they created.

Perversely reshaping

what was never theirs to touch.

Torture in the name of treatment,

pain casually disguised as hope.

Hope for a future

in that perfect little house,

that perfect little family.

They forced the images—

some to make me sick,

others meant to teach me

what I was supposed to feel.

But this was their narrative,

not my own.

This wasn’t me.

Not who I truly was.

And even now,

years removed,

it still echoes—

please stop

please make it stop

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Sorry you are going through this Hanna Fox, i hope you find something that helps. <3

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@Hanna_Foxx

I can feel your pain. Conversion “therapy” is ineffective, unethical and harmful. I’ve known many people who are lesbian or gay who’ve had that done to them. It often takes years to recover. I hope that you can surround yourself with positivity and heal. :mending_heart:

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That was very well written. I’m so sorry you went through that.

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Honestly this whole thing is very weird to me. I didn’t know about half this stuff till I had like a major PTSD episode recently. Tons of memories came flooding back that were somehow blocked before. Like I remembered boarding school and somehow blocked out this entire thing.

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The mind is very powerful. You may have needed to block it out for that time. Maybe now your mind is ready to begin processing all of this. Just take it one step at a time. You don’t have to try to heal overnight. It takes time and effort. But I do believe you have it in you to overcome this and to embrace your true self. And you’re worth it

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I guess this lawsuit against my boarding school is a lot more complicated than I realized.