Flare up from stress

Unusual Beliefs
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I don’t know where else to talk about this. But I need advice or kind words.

I have one failing family member and another probably close behind. And I’m more stressed. Also being the pain eater for the family members I live with. They usually come to me to vent.

If I vent to them about my more psychotic stuff they don’t get it. And most the time I don’t want to worry them, so I eat it.

And now it makes sense why I’m having a flare up. It’s cycling through all the usual suspects within my delusions and paranoia. Throwing in new hallucinations as well.

Today’s flavor is that all my psych meds are fake/placebos. And there’s some conspiracy to not give me my actual ones. Since I’m still struggling.

Throw in a handful of hallucinations today. Both visual and auditory.

I just want to not feel alone with this. I don’t know anyone in person with this illness to understand. Just one online. That’s better than nothing but I still feel alone.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Just needed to vent. I don’t want to slip back into the abyss. Or be hospital bound again.

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Good luck.

I try to stay positive and upbeat in order to fend off flares. That may work for you too

That’s the only advice I can give

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I’m doing my best. I’m also trying to stay as busy as I can. With friends/family. Even if they don’t get it at least I can distract for a while.

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Flares are always scary to me. You alright @Awarewolf ?

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@Corion It’s a bit of a struggle. Honestly. It’s going on 2 weeks of this. Just more so worried it’ll get worse. So far it sucks but manageable. Thanks for checking in, I appreciate that.

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Its scary how bad it can get isnt it. Glad your alright and just know your strong enough to deal if it gets bad.

Ive begged to the voices to kill me because it gets so bad but once they wear off I survived and am embarrassed I begged because I know I want to live even if it’s this life.

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It can get rough for sure. I’m sorry you’ve struggled so bad this illness is awful.

I’ve been managing thought broadcasting too and that is driving me up a wall. I don’t want it to get hospital bad. I’ve been out for a long time.

I’m just spread too thin, I think. Along with this stress.

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I guess you don’t want us disproving your delusions or using logic to say how wrong they are. I’m not criticizing you in any way, I have some fixed delusions too that people try to argue me out of but I persist. But when people tell me reality I find it is helpful to at least try to apply what they tell me to my situation. So using that logic I can tell you that it is highly unlikely your medication is fake/placebos, it just wouldn’t make sense that people are giving you phony meds. I hope you can get over that false belief.

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I appreciate this. I still take them and hoping for the best. Tomorrow I may move past it. I just feel like I’m being attacked by my mind with different flavors of the same stuff. Hoping this all is just stress induced and I’ll reach my baseline again soon. Thank you.

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That’s the smartest, safest thing to do.

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