Life is so dead..
I dont know how to cope with my trauma.
I just feel like im surviving only
And that is boring.
Thats a duty not a joy.
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My trauma stops me from having relationships, friendships, etc
So why?? Alive.
Idk what career route to take either. They are all zombie jobs
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Yes schizophrenia sucks me to i dont have relationships cars jobs career energy joy motivation just suffering
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I hate being unfullfilled
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Only thing I can say is that these issues and complaints are legion (possessed by a massive force of people) but these types of complaints change nothing in the world and are induvidually paralyzing. Dont wallow in grief and sadness… try to push through the gloom to do something that stimulates you, anything.
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Sorry to hear that
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I like looking after myself but i need a job too.
Idk what job. Science and nutrition dont make sense to me anymore.
AI is getting on my nerves too. Because idk what that whole Ai thing is and its intent in the universe.
I really wanted 2 be a science private tutor from home
But …i dont even trust science anymore.
Let alone ppl.
Just feels like such a dead isolating universe to me.
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Yeah life is mundane. Virtually everyone feels it. Atleast at one time or another. I have bad times sometimes, but usually as long as I have something to occupy my mind i am ok
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I miss my ex a lot but every time im with him i binge eat cos he does not fulfill my needs; we fundamentally r not compat.
Its really tragic. Cos now i feel all alone.
But with him i felt alone too in a different kind of way
No clue what to do about anything.
It is hard to hav momentum wen the survival needs r not even taken care of.
He was my survival frnd
Now hes gone.
I am back to being alone and that makes me depressed but wen im with him im so stressed.
The loneliness hurts me. My mood.
I hate break ups. Its like a surgery with no anaesthesia.
And…idk if eternity is wat i want. But wen i speak to ppl idk how 2 speak to them seriously, unless i think that life is eternal.
???
But do i really want eternity? Idk 
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I think life would be okay if i did not experience trauma. I dont care how cliche that sounds but it is a deep truth from my perspective.
Its good that u are okay. 
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Life is probably not eternal in terms of a single ongoing unified existence. Nietzsche wrote of eternal recurrance but he was a determinist: determinism is unlikely so it us unlikely we live as in amor fati, eternally the same life over and over. Eternal occurance is another option but it is not the same life again and again.
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You have to find something that makes you inspired
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Phew! Lol. That its probably not
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I’m sorry you guys broke up was it your decision?
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Albert einstein speaks of the importance of intuition.
Carl jung of looking inside. Not mostly outside.
I guess i need to do that at some point again.
I hate that i need my ex even thou we are not compat
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I never had the courage because always scared of being alone
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Yeh i dont feel good alone either. Its nice u have hubby
It was my decision, yeah, about the break up.
I cant go on so stressed i can see prodromal symptoms creepin in recently. Thats the result of not breaking up wen it was due b4
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Your beautiful person and you have lots going for you, just write stuff down you’ll get through this.
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Thanks Ducky.
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