Id spent 40 years of my life only owning unfitting clothing and a single donated bed with some CDs, I’d spent over 30 years in weekly family violence against me. 20+ years without a single friend.
I’m pretty sure I must even react completely screwed after that.
I ponder is that what happens to many
I’m sorry you had to experience this.
Hey fella no one should have to go through that, you’re definitely a survivor. Hope things look up for you. Small victories
I grew up in poverty. I rarely ate, some poverty some in the streets. I was always in the streets as a kid. I joined a gang, got in lots of fights. Saw a good amount of friends go to jail or get murdered. One of my mom’s boyfriends, good old craig, beat me a few times as a kid. Then one day me and a friend threw him through a glass table. That stopped. My highschool sweetheart cheated on me. I worked and went to college 17.5 years I was a workaholic. I only slept a few hours every night for almost 20 years. I was constantly exhausted. My nursing degree i was completely psychotic. My apartment had mice and bugs. The water would come out rusty for a few minutes. You couldn’t drink the water. I’ve been fighting physically and mentally my whole life. I feel ya. Now life is a lot better. I have rest. I’m not trying to minimize what you’ve been through by stating some of my struggles, just putting it out there that I can relate to suffering. I’ve had friends my whole life. I couldn’t relate to not having a friend. I did have hand me downs until I was 18 and started working then bought things but I could t imagine nothing new ever but a few cds my heart goes out to you my dude.
When you are surrounded by chaos and trauma the only way to deal with it, is to create a circle of peace and calmness around you that nothing can shake. It takes great strength to find inner peace but it’s worth achieving. You aren’t ignoring the chaos or pretending it’s not there, just not letting it put you down. Be strong.
You put a lot in perspective man
I see they’re thinking of c-ptsd as multiples of affected trauma though out someone’s life,
I’d cried so far every second day for over 3 years from a rejection, and knowing she’ll be having relationships I slept under 5 hours every 2nd day for over 2 years, I’ve had a lifetime of limberence since I’d attempted sui…. around 9 years old.
But I’m forever emotionally blindsided from what I’ve been through
Sadly, some emotional wound is forever there.
@sweetpotatopie is right! We have to put ourselves in a protected environment of calm now for as long as necessary to get some relief from the trauma and severe mental illness. You have to look after yourself first and foremost and do it for you
i’ve been through a whole lot from a psychotic family that was attacking my own wonderful family especially me. if this is any inspiration t o you – i feel pretty normal most times now.
don’t give up hope – that’s the key.
each of us has our own individual pains and puzzle pieces to fix etc. don’t give up!!!
your friend, judy 
