latest update: 01:37 and early winter storm approaching again. lots of wind and rain. in bed warm and cosy. wind nerve wracking, I hate it when it’s stormy!
today I was languishing. still didn’t go to hospital. was thinking this morning I’d go but courage failed me. plus I didn’t SH.
as day progressed, so did my depression. had crying bouts. hubby couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. didn’t offer to call his dad to take me to hospital.
then in evening SH again and hubby said what will I gain from it. I couldn’t answer.
but he finally decided to call his dad to maybe take me. dammit he couldn’t get hold of him. a sister of his said he’s at a wedding. ■■■■! why a ■■■■■■■ wedding when I needed him?? (hubby can’t take me because it’s risky for him to drive with his seizures).
then he called his another sister in UK who gave me a long sermon on being grateful for what I have and that I must eat more than the two cups of coffee and two sandwiches I had all day. all good advice but I don’t want to watch depressing videos of suffering people just to feel grateful for what I have!
later at ten pm managed to make skinny fries in pan and a vegan hotdog sausage in microwave. and chicken and fried eggs for hubby. sat in lounge with hubby watching TV then after midnight we came to bed.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring… besides more wind and heavy rain. Ohhhh Godddd… I’m not out of the woods yet. will I go to emergency still or will I be able to wait till Wednesday? will I be admitted at all? part of me wants it and part of me doesn’t. but SH urges still there a little. still thinking of buying …s.