Wait or speak now? Please give your thoughts

Lounge
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Sorry for the long read. I am an English teacher, and 2025/26 was my first year teaching in around 16 years. Prior, I only taught for two years. To say I’m rusty is an understatement. This is important for later: the principal at the first school hated me. It was a religious school and she found out something about my past that she help against me, and she got very nasty very quickly. This was not paranoia or a delusion. The things she did and said towards me to my face were atrocious. Like asking if I could refrain from dressing like a lady of the night at a Christmas event. I ALWAYS dressed professionally.

Anyhow, back to my current job. I had a bad time in the fall and missed a lot of days. My boss made it clear that she hadn’t had someone miss days like that ever and she asked if she could rely on my in the spring. I said yes, but then I went and had knee surgery and had to go on medical leave for two months. So I didn’t end up being reliable after all.

My boss is always nice enough to me but kind of abrupt, and I feel like she is happy with/around everyone else but very abrupt with me. I don’t think she likes me, and I think I will probably lose my job for the fall. This may be paranoia from my old job talking, and I just can’t tell. The catch with my boss is that she hasn’t mentioned things to me one way or another.

The thing I’m wondering about is: Should I email my boss and just ask her about fall plans so I can stop stressing about a job either way, or should I just wait and see? We have a staff party on the 15th (I might have another commitment, so not sure if I can go yet), and if she asks me to bring my supplies back, I’ll know I don’t have a job. The waiting is killing me though. I’m stressing like crazy!

So what do y’all think? Should I ask her politely if I have a job in the fall, or do I just wait and see? My husband says wait and see, but I’m not sure that’s the best approach when it’s messing with my paranoia and anxiety so much. Any thoughts/ideas are appreciated.

Thanks y’all.

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I’d wait and see. If you ask if you have a job it’s like saying you know you’ve been doing wrong.

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That’s a very good point. I don’t want to point out my glaring flaws.

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I forgot to add: If I lose my job, I want to switch degree programs to Higher Education Administration and do something like work in the Student Affairs office at a college. I’m really good with people as long as it’s not a buttload of people at once. I think I’d be good at it. I will have to switch schools to do this.

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I think you should ask. The stress of not knowing is becoming a nightmare plus you will then know how she really feels. Don’t forget to mention that you love the job and staff and plan to do everything you can do in order to stay…

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If you ask, she may lie and say your job is safe even if it’s not just so she’s not left without someone to finish the year. I also agree that it points out your poor attendance and resulting guilt. I think if you were genuinely unable to work then you shouldn’t feel guilty. Just continue to do all you can until the end of the school year

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Thank you for the advice, @Mouse1977 and @Lilyofthevalley. For now, I’m not saying a word. We have a staff meeting coming up, and if she asks me to bring in my computer with me, I’ll know I don’t have a job. I may be anxious, but I only have to wait about two weeks.

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Best of luck @Honeysuckle

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